audition

you might think that, after acting professionally for going on 11 years now and doing a great deal of both stage and commercial work prior to that, that I wouldn't get nervous before auditions anymore... certainly not doing something like public speaking. on the contrary, I still get butterflies, and sometimes even psych myself out.

I rarely tell anyone outside of my husband about any auditions or callbacks. there are a couple of reasons for this: A) just like a teacher's career is made up of certain elements - say, prepping for lessons, making copies, teaching, grading papers, etc. - the acting profession has the same sort of ongoing elements, like getting auditions, prepping for them, going on them, getting more, prepping, going, getting more, prepping, going... all the while, juggling the jobs you've managed to book already. if you get booked, you'll get a phone call. if not... no phone call. all I mean is that... auditions are simply a central part of what this profession is, and they're always coming and going with varying degrees of quantity. and B) because they occur with some regularity (hopefully) and the odds of booking them varies, it's just easier to go audition, do the best I can do, leave, and forget about it. unless I book it, and then woo-hoo!! but the truth is, it's probably psychologically easier to believe you're likely NOT going to book the job for whatever reason... I'm not blonde, or 5'8, or not tan, or can't rollerblade, or any number of things out of my control. It helps to remember this, so I can try to relax and just be present and have a good, memorable audition for future relationship-building with that casting director, director, or producer. it's too easy to give in to worry, or self-doubt, or comparisons to other actors in the room, or how much money this gig could be, or... etc. the deal is, if you tell someone about the audition, you might get the natural follow-up question... "did you hear about that audition?!" ... and then you think, "no, I HAVEN'T heard anything. crap. THANKS." because, like I said, I've forgotten about it. :)

Anyway, I bring up this old topic because I had a really nice callback today. It's weird - I was fairly certain I choked in the initial audition before Christmas a bit, but there were only 6 of us at the callback today, and I know there was at least one big call here in Houston and 2 calls in Dallas. So that leads me to believe either 1) I'm better than I thought I was or 2) a lot of other actors really blew it. ha! anyhoo, I took care this go-round to be super-prepared, which involved being solid with the lines, ready with the client notes for wardrobe, and staying relaxed and outer-focused (rather than getting all in my head... much better if you can stay open and light, talking to people, etc). I got there early and spent time in the car thanking God and praising Him, and asking only for a good experience. and when I left, I felt the prayer was more than answered. that's not to say I think I booked the job... but I have a fighting chance, and those cats I read for (who knew me already) will continue to have a good impression of me. I do see, though, that a huge part of the equation is my preparedness, and that often my nerves are directly tied to the fact that I didn't cover all the bases before I got to the audition. hmmm.

that makes me think of my first on-camera audition in this city, over ten years ago... it was for an industrial. I nervously paced around my aunt's pool running lines for hours, and showed up at the agency for the audition soooo nervous but as ready as I could possibly be. I wanted so badly to prove to them they'd done a smart thing by signing me... and I guess I was still a bit unconvinced I was a real on-camera talent, since the bulk of my experience to that point was primarily stage-related. booking that job was huge for me.

so here I am, still learning that the key to success is the same as it was in college... learn your lines. be on time. be present. warm up. listen when people talk to you. if you don't know what you're doing, smile and act like you do. behave as a professional.

don't worry... I'll understand if you want to ask me if I got this job later. to be real, I hope so, because I would like this particular paycheck. but whatever... I did my best, and now it's time to let it go. maybe I should focus on the training video I'm voicing for Schlumberger tomorrow morning... I can say it - "Shlum-ber-zhay" - but every time I see the word 'Schlumberger' in print all I see is "Slum-burger".

m.y.