Pacino Christian Bell

I'm working on another post expounding on that last one with the questions, but before I go to bed I want to write that sweet Chino passed away yesterday.  Since I found him at 6 months old, it seemed like he was always battling something... skin conditions, allergies, heartworms (twice!  even on preventative!), a tango with a car wherein he lost a toe, and then the grave prognosis of mouth cancer almost 3 years ago.  Despite all of that, he chugged along for a good 16 years and was one of the best-tempered animals I've ever known.  He passed away in the backyard near his food... our kind neighbors said they heard him bellowing, went over to pet him for a bit, and after they left they saw him lay his head down.  Michael found him when he came home from work.  I was in Dallas, which is incredibly sad, but I'm mostly relieved and thankful that he's not in any more pain.  It had gotten pretty difficult as his health deteriorated, and we had discussed taking him to the vet this weekend.  Deepest thanks to the friends who came over and helped Michael bury him.   Here are a couple of photos of Chi and Magz from last weekend:

I love you, buddy.

L

internet workings...

it's a quiet morning here.  the little one spent the night at grammy and opa's since M and I had plans last night - no toys have been strewn around the room yet, there have been no plaintive requests for 'Elmo!', and I'm drinking my coffee without fear of a 21-month old knocking it over.  I miss my morning cuddle, but appreciate the quiet moment.  before I head into the kitchen to make turkey chili for hot dog night at the church tonight and then gingerly pour myself into the tub before trekking to work, I wanted to share a couple of things.

one, that I read this blog from RHE yesterday, titled ' Fifteen Reasons I Left Church', and was riveted to the comments, which I've continued to peruse this morning and still haven't reached the end of them.  I don't think I've ever read such a gamut of opinion and experience, and one of my first reactions yesterday was 'this is how the internet should work... so many different flavors of people out there chiming in on an intensely personal topic, but very civil on the whole'... I'm interested in dialoguing more about what we expect our churches to be, what we're allowed to expect from them, and where 'church' may not be required to meet us...

another thought I've been mulling over as I've trolled around and read different pieces the last few weeks - that may dovetail a bit into the topic above - is the different sort of life structure my generation and those younger (and older?) than I have these days, and how it affects the traditional workings and expectations of 'church'. maybe this isn't 100% true, but my perception is that the life of church tends to model itself as the intended primary community of those who work within it.  I think many of us today have a number of communities we revolve in and out of that all vy for our limited time... church, work, family, friends outside our faith community, carving out time for ourselves... combine these with the ease and regularity of travel most of us engage in - which is generally waay more than people of past generations - and you get contemporary people of faith communities participating as they can, but maybe not in the steadfast, day in-day out fashion of congregants of the past.  How does this - or should this - change what our churches do?  Or how they do them?  How do churches of today navigate and plan for the mobile, fluid lives of people while simultaneously calling for community, help, and service?

-m.y.

monday morning

what do you do on a Monday morning, when you wake and feel a little jolt of 'I don't have much work booked this week and that's three light weeks in a row!"?  you tell yourself to relax.  you make a pot of coffee (and spike it with your daughter's lovely whole milk).  you remind yourself of the good months you and husband have had, of your savings, of the non-emergency-nature of this panic.  you throw open the doors to take advantage of the glorious morning.  you contemplate doing things but only do, like, one of them.  you take your coffee and computer outside and play with photo booth:

you resist the urge to read more about people using shamelessly uncivil language to describe a Georgetown law student, or any political something-something with which they don't agree.  you contemplate a quiet boycott of all media for personal sanity.  at least, political media - the continuing tornado coverage makes you cry, and you know it's the stories about suffering and humanity that you need to be exposed to, to be reminded to be helpful when possible and grateful all the time, all the time, that perspective is everything.  you finally come around to thanking your stars that you've been given time to slow down.  at some point every day you feel bone tired, and it's much easier to give in to such a feeling when you're not running in ten directions.

you prepare to run in and brush your teeth before heading out to your one session today.  and suddenly the last thing you want to do is leave this chair, on this deck, in this patch of sun.

-m.y.

the second of march

I've had a pretty light load the last two weeks work-wise, and have mostly thoroughly enjoyed it.  I don't have unending amounts of energy these days, and it's been really lovely to take things a bit easier.  We've still got our taxes to do, but as of this moment I'm caught up with my billing and whatnot and am feeling pretty accomplished (aside from the pile of filing still to address... Sesame Street is only an hr long, y'all).  I'm feeling our baby kick and move around pretty regularly now, which I love.  Here are a few photos from today... notice the meadow that is our back yard (we have a date with the lawn mower this weekend, and our front flower bed is a verdant sea of weedy weeds):

this one is a little obsessed with balls right now.  along with Elmo and apples, of course.

help, mama!

today - 21 weeks 1 day.  notice how comfortable I am with y'all - I got up this morning, threw on some clothes, and got with it.  aside from pinning my bangs back with a bobby pin, I did not fix my hair at all.  obviously.

The garage makeover is slooowly coming along.  More photos will come as we progress.  The clean-out has proven to be a more time-consuming job than I anticipated.  So far we've purchased an outdoor plastic storage unit for the back of the house to store the mower/leaf-blower/charcoal/wood chips for grilling & smoking/etc, and a metal shelf unit to live in the garage.  We've made trips to Goodwill and Recycling.  We've been collating things to keep from the attic with things to keep from the garage, and getting rid of trash.  M has gone through most of our boxed-up cd collection and is taking a large pile to Cactus Music to sell. Truthfully, it still looks like a train wreck out there but we're super-close to the next step:  blowing insulation into the ceiling and doing some repairs to the ceiling/walls before we can paint everything.  Other things we're eyeing for the space:  this cabinet to go by the washer/dryer for laundry and whatnot, and this ceiling fan to keep us all from melting away in the summer. 

Of course, the ultimate goal is to make our 2 bedroom/1 bath house work as well as it possibly can for us as we add a new member to our family.  here are other things I'm plotting:

Girls' room 'Before'.  The plan is for all of the things I've been storing in the closet to the right (as well as a few things in the one to the left) to go somewhere else to make way for a real closet organization system doohickie for these little people (we're likely going with one from Home Depot).  That white shelf unit to the far left will likely get moved across the room and turned on it's side to become the changing table (while still giving me good shelf storage).

I'm thinking we'll move the crib to the other side of the window and put a toddler bed for Magz under the tree branch, where her crib currently is (except positioned lengthwise down the other wall off to the right).  The red bookshelf, playmat, etc will get rerouted back over to the other side of the room where it used to live, in place of the white shelf unit by the closet.

The little hideabed craigslist couch is finding a new home somewhere else in the house... the while shelf unit will hopefully be here on this wall as storage/changing table. That tall lamp is being moved to another room, too, I think.

This shelving unit (sister to the one in Magz' room)  will likely be replaced by the little hideabed couch.  Tentative plans are to turn this unit back up on it's end and put it on the wall off-camera to the left.  I have a smallish old sewing table from YaYa (currently in the garage) that I'm plotting to put by the sofa with a lamp on it.  The short wall under the airplane art would be a space to put a toy basket to hold things currently hanging out in corners in the living room, Maggie's purple chair, etc.  I'm not sure where the coral chair would end up.

So see, that white shelf unit can go on it's end where the pretty brown cabinet is and still hold records and stuff.  Maybe.  Oh, and that closet back there in the dark hallway needs a do-over, too...

and the pretty brown cabinet can go in the dining room where the tree painting is.  Maybe.

Our house isn't huge, but the good-sized rooms give us lots of options for configuring our space.  This process of pulling dusty, hidden things out and holding them to the light is good - it's making us sift through things and determine what's worth keeping and what's not, and I truly think half of the battle is simply not having as much 'stuff' to worry about/keep up with.  

In closing, I'd like to mention the bible study I've been part of.  Though I've been far from perfect with regard to keeping up with the homework, overall it's been such a blessing.  I want to offer a word of encouragement to other mothers that I sincerely hope isn't translated into a guilt-thing - I know there are so many things vying for our time, but I encourage you to prioritize being a part of a bible study as you're able.  Sunday mornings haven't really been optimal learning times for me since I had Magz and I'm lousy at self-discipline in my day-to-day, so this Beth Moore series has provided me with a weekly opportunity to hear good teaching and delve as much as I'm able into the Word, with a little positive accountability built in just by being part of a group.  It's not always convenient, but the net effect on my spirit helps fuel me to be a better wife, mom, and church volunteer.  I loved a moment early in the series when Beth was speaking of her early days in teaching... she confessed something like, "Do you know how hard it is to teach a bible class when you're never in the Word?"  I DO know what that's like - in all of the volunteer capacities I serve in at SWC, I can easily feel run down, given to resentment, and covetous of 'my time' if I'm not being driven by love for God and His people... and that's just at church.  Can you imagine my attitude at home?!  So, maybe a class like the one I'm doing right now isn't for you... if anyone has other ways you obtain nourishment for your soul, I'd love to hear it.  If, however, you're our of practice like me and just need an encouraging voice to remind you that it's vital for us to be looking for spiritual sustenance somewhere, consider this that.

happy weekend,

-m.y.

* a quick addendum - the above thing I wrote about bible study isn't a sentiment reserved just for other moms, and I suddenly realize that's how it sounded.  that's just where I'm at - I wasn't good at self-discipline/practicing regular spiritual pursuit before I had a child, and having one just highlighted the fact in neon.  if you don't have offspring I want to encourage you to be a part of a study, too.  :) xo.