coping by organizing my phone

there have been a few stories in the news lately that simply slay me if I think about them for very long, awful events that leave behind children without parents, a man without his wife and 4 kids. it's so fragile, this life we live - my chest hurts and I'm shamed to think about how I gamble it by texting in the car or trying to read something while driving.

I'm also chastised when I consider how quick to frustration and short of patience I've been the past few weeks. it's not very pretty, and it's not who I really want to be.

so, to cope with feeling... um... feelings... I clean or try to organize things to, you know, attempt to regain control. my iphone was an easy mark, as I've not updated podcasts/calendars/photos in forever. I've added a new podcast this go-'round - at the suggestion of Ms. R.A. I subscribed to Ecclesia Church's podcast, just to see what that church has got going on. I've not been over there in years, but I used to frequent the coffee shop and I appreciated a lot of their ideals.

before I forget, I really enjoyed my friend K's newest blog post - I was an avid reader up through high school, but especially in elementary and jr. high. I read anything I could get my hands on, and I loved carefully filling out the Weekly Reader order forms and choosing treasures at book fairs. the thoughts K expressed about some of the purposes and goals of children's literature strike me as true and line up with my experience as a young reader. I read all sorts of different kinds of things, and I believe that by doing so I was able learn to distinguish that it wasn't all the same - various ideals carried different 'weight' based on my worldview and I was able to work that out by being exposed to large themes and different genres, whether it was Golden Books or Sweet Pickles or Nancy Drew or Judy Blume or a wonderful book about Joseph and his coat of many colors that I read at YaYa's until it fell apart.

I don't remember politics ever being connected to what I read or thought, or even being much on my radar (except for 'voting' for Jimmy Carter in the second grade). I would say I was raised to be a faithful Christian, but that my parents still allowed us to experience the world in a way that allowed us to think and wrestle with it, and I'm really grateful for that. in an increasingly-standardized and fearful/distrustful society, I want to help our girl learn how to navigate the world thoughtfully and compassionately, and I think the stories she hears are a good place to start.

this is a bit of a tangent, but in a recent late-night conversation with my brother, I said that I believe kids today are likely to have a super-different view of the world than even my generation, as the internet and such makes the global community so accessible... it's becoming easier and easier to view most people of different countries as being fellow humans, same as us, that we can banter with on discussion boards and do business with instead of viewing them as national allies or enemies. I don't know what that will mean, I just believe it to probably be true.

here are an assortment of photos rescued from the iphone. ones from mexico, grandad's funeral, etc. will come another time. oh, while you peruse these photos imagine this darling face screaming and unconsolable at 12:30 last night, arms flailing and little body twisting in frustration. she's better today, sweet and still a little clingy. every so often, she finds her favorite blanket and presses it to her face, biting the yarn hard and trying to take the edge off. teething is a hardcore, serious business.

helping with laundry

first story-time!

exhausted from playing with the calculator

I came home one day to find a picnic in progress

watching the end of Elmo's World with momo

my hair, before.

and after. :)

I'm still getting used to it... I keep thinking I just have my hair pulled up in back. It's never been this short before, but I really like it.

happy Saturday!

L

blogging from Hico. holla!

this post has been in draft mode for the past few days, so I figured I'd better get it out into a real post before things pile up on me too much.

I've been reading Boundaries With Kids by Drs Cloud and Townsend, and have found it SUCH an interesting read. if you've not read this Boundaries book of theirs, you really should. the topic of boundaries is a little fascinating to me - I feel like I've learned a lot about them, having and recognizing and protecting both mine and others' and being quick to acknowledge when something's been crossed, but it's very clear to me that I still have some work to do. one of the most sobering points the book makes is that our children will absorb whatever we model (yikes!) and will only internalize values and behaviors as their challenged to... or as we lovingly allow Magz to be challenged by life and learn take responsibility for herself. It's very much my hope to grow this girl up and equip her for life as best we can, and I'm so glad for books like this.

A little note on the work front: I have been stressing about a gig I was asked to audition for by a company in Los Angeles. if I booked it, it would have meant a sort of travel that would be... well, big. hard. for me, I mean, as a breastfeeding mother who really doesn't want to stop breastfeeding yet. or be out of town and away from my baby for recurring two or three day stints at all, even. I auditioned, knowing I could still turn it down, because it was sort of an honor to be asked and I'm torn between the financial reality of making money for our household and currently desiring to roost more at home and work around H-town. I felt fairly positive about my chances... more often than not, in situations like these I get the work and am forced to make decisions. well, I got a very nice email the other night that essentially said thank you for playing but we've cast someone else, maybe we can work on something else in the future. which was great, fine, I got to thank them for the opportunity and breathe a sigh of relief. but if I'm honest with myself, there WAS a twinge of 'really, you're not hiring me? hello, what's your damage?!' ah, the actor's ego. even if I don't want the job, I still want them to want me. :P

now we shall commence the photo portion of the blogramming:

playing with mama and our toys:

you should hear the drama that happens between the bear and the gloworm when Daddy's in charge of storytime. no really, you should.

wearing sunbonnets at the Midtown farmers market:

we had a lovely, LOVELY baby shower for our friend Tricia who is *sniff* moving all the way to Ohio soon. BUT, she'll be back to visit and bring us a baby to love on. in the meantime, it was tons of fun to shower her with presents and a pretty party! I signed on to bring sweets, so I made mini-vanilla cupcakes and no-bake bird's nest cookies. observe the huge ingredient list below for the cookies:

actually, that ingredient photo isn't really complete. since I used pure peanut butter, I thought maybe the person who wrote the recipe meant the regular kind with added sugars and things, so I drizzled some local honey in the mix, too. these were seriously the easiest cookies I've ever made - behold my impromptu 'double boiler':

behold the finished product on the table with minty malted milk ball 'eggs', along with Tiff's lovely fruit kabob flower pot and those cute paper birds. when I make these cookies again, I'll purchase more chow mein noodles - the trick to getting them to look right and avoiding gobs of chocolate (that resembles poo, let's say it) is to use a lot of noodles so they come out looking 'twiggy':

the sweet centerpiece... some of my little cupcakes are back there on the tiered plates. when I make THEM again, I'm going to ice them thicker before topping them with the toasted coconut:

the second table and sweet girly 'girl' letters:

little notecards for writing blessings for the baby:

pretty, isn't it?!

everyone had a really good time. these two were obviously partied out:

hubz brought this treat home, and I LOVE it.

LOVE.

I'm sorry I drank the last one, mr. bell. it's a character defect.

tummy time a few days ago. getting stronger!

this is the place where Magz usually takes her best (read: longest) naps. it doesn't always work - sometimes she's going to micronap no matter where I put her unless, of course, I sit there and hold her - but the combination of the angle of the couch and the blanket keeping her arms from reflexively flying up is a good one, and if she wakes up there's a good chance she'll be hypnotized by the ceiling fan and fall back to sleep:

and this one is my current fave, taken at Hermann Park.

'ho ho,' she says. 'a lovely park! how droll.'

nighty-night.

-m.y.

first baseball game...

this past week, we headed out with some friends to Minute Maid Park to watch the Astros play the Braves. I didn't have very high expectations for the game - I don't really follow baseball, and the Astros haven't been having a good year. they ended up trouncing the Braves, though, and it was a super-fun game! Magz did really well through most of the game, and contrary to these photos she only truly started losing it in the bottom of the eighth (I love how she looks as though we're torturing her here):

we had a group of about ten or eleven people, including our friends and neighbors just down the street:

here's magz, hanging out on one of YaYa's quilts and sporting one of the first things mama has bought for her. not that this child needs me to buy her clothing - she's been given so much that we honestly don't have much need at all. I just happened to be at target and saw a couple of cute things and... well, there it is.

cross-eyed!

and here she is having a fun Saturday morning with Daddy (she lost one of her socks along the way):

now we're all listening to Queen's Lullaby Baby, she's sacked out in her swing, I'm on the computer and gearing up to tackle my 'in' box, and M's over in the chair reading Bonhoeffer's 'Life Together' before heading out to purchase supplies to build us some bookshelves. I read that book forever ago, and suddenly want to read it again. happy weekend!

-m.y.

maya angelou would be proud...

here's the newest element hubz added to our nursery decor. the subtext to be absorbed by our little baby is that, someday, the door is open for her to fly free and strong and land in a sweet cherry blossom tree across the window. or, you know, whatever.

-m.y.

p.s. wasn't the rain last night great? I mean, aside from making me have to go to the bathroom every thirty minutes.

p.p.s. has everyone read Angelou's 'I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings'? it was one of my favorite books when I was younger, and I suddenly wish it was in front of me.

kicking off november thanks...

rather than make some excuse for my lack of blogging insight lately, I'm going to plunge right into a list of current blessings. enjoy this happy song while you read! may there always be joyous public dancing.




to begin... my husband! I know it's hard to hear me blather on about his awesomeness, but really... he's the cat's meow. he's fun and good and takes such great care of us. plus he brought me two presents recently - some killer rubber rain boots that look like riding boots and a darling blue hat - for no reason at all, both of which blew my mind and made me squeal.

work! I had a slow September and October, which was both good and a challenge, and God has been bringing me some really great projects and people in the last couple of weeks to the point where I'm a bit overwhelmed. I'm so very thankful for it as well as for the downtime, and more aware than ever that everything comes from Him. I must learn to accept what's given and take it all in stride... I can really be the Queen of Wigging Out when things slow down OR speed up.

Chino! who's so funny and a precious lamb... and even more dear to us since Ripley isn't here.

by the way, I got a very sweet cremation certificate in the mail today from 'Fond Memories Pet Cemetery and Crematorium' today (which is the facility my vet uses to dispose of deceased animals). I sobbed for 2 minutes and then it was over.

Simply Apple Juice! I just can't quit you.



Flexibility! I know it's not a noun, but I'm still so thankful that my life is fairly malleable and people will usually work with me so everyone wins.

Mad Men! you turned out to be a truly wonderful third season. sniff. sorry you didn't make this photo, Betty, but I'm peeved at you right now anyway.



SWC! right now, I feel our church is teaching me ways to serve and develop better interpersonal skills, and I'm grateful for it.

M's homemade stuffing (the recipe was in Cuisine at Home this month)! for real, he even made the herb bread that ended up being toasted to go into the stuffing, and it was the freaking bomb.

Baby Step 3 is ALMOST complete! come on 3-6 month emergency fund, we're almost there...

the 'holidays' are almost here! I totally need family and parties and presents and gift lists and Bing Crosby and general merriment. I want to bake cranberry pistachio biscotti and cranberry coffee cake. I want LC's monkey bread. and Grandma's fudge.

there's more, but I'll stop for now. can't use up all of my praises all at once now, can I? off to record one more radio spot that dropped out of the sky today (thanks again, Lord!).


-m.y.

forty years together, feasting, and a farmer's market experiment

last weekend, my parents celebrated forty years of marriage. I almost wrote 'forty years of wedded bliss' in the title of this post, and reconsidered. I think it was probably more like forty years of some really great times, some good times, some not so good times, and some sincerely un-fun times... and choosing to stay together and forge a friendship through all of it. which, to me, is deeper and weightier than bliss.

my dad's birthday is a few days earlier than their anniversary so, knowing my parents' love of shrimp and after clearing it with my mom, we went to the fish market next door to M's office and bought them some fresh, jumbo Gulf shrimp to ice down and carry up to them. we grilled a bunch of them that night out at the ranch in Hico, and had grilled corn on the cob and fresh green beans with new potatoes to go with it.

my brother came up with the idea of commemorating such an anniversary milestone by taking them somewhere they'd probably not go on their own. so, we all met in Hico last Saturday and drove to Ft. Worth to Aunt B and Uncle G's house, where we changed clothes and bid Mo goodnight. my parents had no idea what was going on, other than the fact that they needed to sort of dress up and pack an overnight bag with their swimsuits. we hopped in the car and drove to Texas de Brazil in downtown Ft. Worth, which is pretty similar to a Fogo de Chao. the food was incredible... I truly think my favorite was the 'salad bar', if you could call it that. the variety of foods and antipastas was out of this world, and they served a sumptuous lobster bisque that had a spicy kick. it was so fun to watch my parents, and I really enjoyed being with my family that night as we tried new things and shared our favorites. we walked around downtown Ft. Worth a bit afterward, and then went back to B&G's to don our swimsuits and hang out in and around the pool 'til our eyes wouldn't stay open anymore. we so love being at B&G's. they've created such a warm, inviting, comfortable place to relax and enjoy one another, and we can't thank them enough for babysitting Mo and letting us crash at their house so spontaneously.







on Sunday, we drove back through Hico, picked up some of Grandma's homemade noodles and Christian Cattle Company beef to bring back with us, and headed home to Houston. we stopped at the farmer's market out on Hwy 6 @ 290, and bought squash, eggplant, okra, red and yellow peppers, dried speckled butter beans, frozen fresh peas, blackberries, lemons, and tomatoes. we still had to ask which foods were locally grown, as some produce that's not in season here is still transported in from other states, and we're trying to wrap our minds around the seasonality of foods and learn to eat what's growing where we live. we spent $35 dollars there, and brought home our loot to add to what we already had in our kitchen. another education was had at the computer trying to learn the right way to store everything to preserve it's freshness. here's how the week played out, without hitting the grocery store again (note, we already had a big herb mix of salad greens bought on that trip to Central Market):

Sunday dinner: Grandma's noodles with BLTs. I don't love fresh tomatoes yet (I'm trying), so I had red bell pepper instead. mmmm.

Monday dinner: boiled okra, peas with bacon in lemon veloute, and salad with peppers, feta, and balsamic vinagrette. the lemon veloute business came from this recipe for speckled butter beans, but when we began to prep we realized the beans needed to be soaked, so we put them in water and altered the recipe to use our fresh frozen peas. this is a pretty time-consuming recipe and was a little challenging, especially with the hot burners we have, but we loved the way the peas tasted in the end. I don't have a double boiler to cook the veloute over boiling water, so I had to get creative:




Tuesday dinner: Speckled butter beans with onion and garlic served with Pederson Farms Natural Jalapeno Smoked Sausage.

Wednesday dinner: ratatouille (eggplant, squash, red and yellow peppers, onion, garlic, the rest of the okra, and tomatoes) served over quinoa. I used this recipe as a base... again, it was a little more time-consuming than the one in my Betty Crocker cookbook, but I loved the flavor and, since I cooked it in the morning when I had more time, it kept well and tasted great later in the day.

Thursday dinner: roasted veggie, fresh herb, feta and goat cheese pizza.... we already had the pizza crusts and, though it was fine, we decided we'd rather start making our own again. it just tastes better. I need a new recipe though, the one I use takes a lot of time.




then we went to see Julie & Julia, which felt like another delicious meal in many ways. there were even enough roasted vegetables left over for me to eat them in an omelette this morning.

and tonight's menu: pasta with veggies and sausage with a salad of greens and goat cheese. I can smell stuff roasting in there.

SO.

do I post all of this to toot our horns? do I wish to bore you with food? not really, I promise. it's more to chronicle what's turning out to be a really interesting and hopefully lasting turn in our lives. I wrote last time about whole/organic food eating being more expensive than eating... well, whatever we want that's fast and at our fingertips. but in reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by B. Kingsolver, I'm starting to give it all more thought. granted, if you were buying organic free range chicken every day it could add up, but take this passage in the chapter titled 'Waiting for Asparagus'... she's speaking of chefs and individuals trying to cultivate a positive American food culture, based on our own ingredients:

"... to the extent that it's even understood, this cuisine is widely assumed to be the property of the elite. Granted, in restaurants it can sometimes be pricey, but the do-it-yourself version is not. I am not sure how so many Americans came to believe only our wealthy are capable of honoring a food aesthetic. Anyone who thinks so should have a gander at the kitchens of working class immigrants from India, Mexico, anywhere really. Cooking at home is cheaper than buying packaged foods or restaurant meals of comparable quality."

and because it's sort of great:

"The main barrier standing between between ourselves and a local food culture is not price, but attitude. The most difficult requirements are patience and a pinch of restraint - virtues that are hardly the property of the wealthy. these virtues seem to find precious little shelter, in fact, in any modern quarter of this nation founded by Puritans. Furthermore, we apply them selectively: browbeating our teenagers with the message that they should wait for sex, for example. Only if they wait to experience intercourse under the ideal circumstances will they know it's true value. 'Blah Blah Blah' hears the teenager; words issuing from a mouth that can't even wait for the right time to eat tomatoes, but instead consumes tasteless ones all winter to satisfy a craving for everything 'now'."

honestly, we're not sure how to quantify the cost of our food choices yet - it remains to be seen how much money will be left in the grocery envelope at the end of the month - and I wouldn't want our interest to become all-consuming or anything. but it's pretty interesting and there are a lot of benefits, I have to say, starting with the simple enjoyment of tasting the food and feeling a different kind of urge to cook whatever you have before it goes bad. web sites like localharvest.org and slowfoodnation.org are great resources, and we even found a local heritage turkey farm to contact about perhaps picking out a turkey for this Thanksgiving. plus, it's more fun and empowering to talk about food and farmers than health care, can I get an 'amen'?

have a great weekend everybody, and thanks for taking the time to read. feel free to throw out any thoughts.

-m.y.