A couple of thoughts while reading some today...
from Fabulously Frugalicious:
"I think the single most important trait of frugal living is the ability to feel content. Do you agree? Think about it. When we are content with what we have, we don't feel the need to "keep up with the Joneses". In today's times, that is more important than ever. Contentment will keep you from feeling like things are going under or from feeling "poor"."
I've been learning this lesson more and more lately. Our Dave Ramsey class is going really well - it's so fun to see people excited about taking a fresh look at their finances and choosing new ways of thinking about money and stewardship. As we keep striving toward the debt-free mark, I feel so grateful for lessons learned so far, and for the peace that's come with being on the same page as M and choosing together where we want to spend and give our money. God's money. note: according to the bounty displayed at my last couple of garage sales, I'm an easy 'accumulator' and I think I can safely say that most of it found it's way to my home because I was bored and went shopping. Or saw something and thought I really needed it in three colors. heh. Really, truly, I 'Need' very little, it seems...
In the spirit of attempting to be fab frugal, I've learned that you really can get a discount on almost anything online. When I booked my hotel for work this week (Super 8, baby, 10 minutes from the studio, with extended cable, wifi, refrigerator & microwave, and free breakfast), I got the general room discount for x number of days, plus a $10 Barnes & Noble Gift Card, plus a rebate I found online that'll send me $20 after my stay. Not to mention the fact that this stay will put me over the 10 nights needed to earn my hotel reward points, so next trip I get a night free. :)
I also thought I got a pretty good deal on a raincoat, which is an item I've been scouting for awhile now. I used to have a black one that I LOVED from Ann Taylor Loft, and I lost it a couple of years ago. So, I've been hunting one similar... semi-lightweight but still semi-structured, with a substantial hood, some sort of waist definition, not too long or short. I found this one online at Land's End and really liked it, but didn't like the idea of paying full price. Happily, I did a search and found a 20% off coupon, and it's just come in the mail to me today! It's a little roomy, because they didn't have this one in a petite size, but in general I'm happy about it and the always-good navy color. Although, I will say I've spent more than a few moments thinking about the environmental issues involved in shipping... why isn't there a Lands' End in Texas??
Godgrown has another thought-provoking entry up today. Here's one paragraph that jumped out at me:
"Evangelicals have squandered their massive influence on America, with refusing to creatively engage the culture and instead creating a Christian sub-culture (with radio stations, bookstores and the like) and when Christians DO engage their surrounding world, its sort of reminds me of little the little kid that would throw a snowball at a passing car, only to return to his little group of cronies to talk about brave he was."
I've had a lot swimming around in my head lately about churches, especially my own... it's purpose, our purpose in it, my purpose in it. And our/my purpose in this world. I think that should be a post for another time. I do, however, tend to agree with Godgrown's sentiments about many evangelicals separating themselves from the world in these 'outer' ways... I think I remember reading that there was even a program called 'Jazzercise for Jesus' or something like it, as though Christians need even our workouts to be tailored to Contemporary Christianity. As though we can't just go to 24 hr fitness and work out alongside everyone else.
Coming from a workplace and past life mostly made up of creative types, unbelievers, and many different faith backgrounds, I find myself on middle ground most of the time. I want my words to be full of grace, seasoned with salt - I want to communicate my dependence on Christ, my respect for the Word, my love of people, my lack of having everything together. I find, though, that I'm doing most of my communicating what's important to me through relationships over time, as my actions and behavior tell their own story. When topics do come up in conversation that allow me to share my thoughts, I want to do it in such a way as to be heard through all of the religiosity, through all the preconceptions. I want to be sure that I come from a place of what I've experienced, first, because that's what I really know. And from a place of listening to where others are. Sometimes I feel like I have two languages... that of my private life and church life, and the language of Out There... Out There being anywhere Christian isn't necessarily fluently spoken. Where Christian-ese is a red-flag and a dollop of cheese in the ears of a listener. I understand it, because even I fight an eye-roll at some of the more touchy-feely contemporary Christian-speak. I need to grow up and get over such things, but underneath it's simply because it's not my spiritual language or experiential language. This blog is actually a good example of my double-speak, as it were... my name is, in theory, not to be found here yet, because I wanted a space to be able to speak more freely about myself and my faith than I feel I do in my daily life at present.
*edit* upon leaving for awhile and thinking about this, I want to clarify: 'doublespeak' is generally regarded as a bad thing, as in saying one thing but doing another. in trying to 'become all things to all people', though, that's where I think we have the freedom to chose our words to communicate best with those around us. For example, talking about 'the kingdom of God' is fairly common church-language, but can sound totally culty and weird to someone who doesn't claim a faith. Which is one of the reasons I'm glad for church, small group, and family time... these places are where we should feel the free-est to express our faith, alongside other practitioners. Not that I walk around suppressed or anything, but I am understandably more cautious when I'm out and about and unsure of my audience.
Speaking of semantics and such, I took part in a group survey study recently and one of the questions put to us was something like: 'Where do you see the inbreaking of the kindgom in your congregation?'. Though most of us assumed the idea to mean, simply, 'Where do you see God working where you are?', we were initially a little puzzled and had to hear the question again. And we're church people.
If you have any thoughts about any of the above, I'd love to hear them.
Now, I have to go to the studio for a bit, then pack my bags for 4 fun-filled days of blowing wind into a microphone. Thank you, Lord, for work! Thank you thank you, you've been so good to us. I'm going to make a pit stop on the way home and see if I can find a bargain yoga dvd to play on the computer in my hotel room... I'm missing it. Oh, and I'm also taking my knitting! I managed to get myself out of my first major mess-up without outside help, and feel confident that this scarf will actually be completed someday. :)
Have a great week, everyone.
-m.y.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
mixer is a-go-go.
for our first experiment, I tackled bread:
preparing to flip the switch... I'm still not sure the dough hook should have been used at this juncture, but it all turned out alright. I'll go ahead and admit I still need to read more of the manual.
about 2-2.5 hrs later...
25 minutes in the oven and voila:
notice how clean the mixer is in the above photo. I love the newlywed phase with gadgets, when you're still all 'oh, it's been dirty for 5 minutes! quick, grab a sponge!'.
since husby was leaving to go work in New Orleans for a few days, I made him dinner of sauteed asparagus, tasty veggie soup, and braided herb bread with butter. the bread came out pretty well - the consistency is good, I think, though I feel it needs a touch of sweetener. maybe next time I'll try adding honey or something. I'll tell you this, though, it's fantastic toasted and smeared with Rondele pub cheese. breakfast of champions!
and just because, here's my sweet boy nestling in the leaves outside:
preparing to flip the switch... I'm still not sure the dough hook should have been used at this juncture, but it all turned out alright. I'll go ahead and admit I still need to read more of the manual.
about 2-2.5 hrs later...
25 minutes in the oven and voila:
notice how clean the mixer is in the above photo. I love the newlywed phase with gadgets, when you're still all 'oh, it's been dirty for 5 minutes! quick, grab a sponge!'.
since husby was leaving to go work in New Orleans for a few days, I made him dinner of sauteed asparagus, tasty veggie soup, and braided herb bread with butter. the bread came out pretty well - the consistency is good, I think, though I feel it needs a touch of sweetener. maybe next time I'll try adding honey or something. I'll tell you this, though, it's fantastic toasted and smeared with Rondele pub cheese. breakfast of champions!
and just because, here's my sweet boy nestling in the leaves outside:
Monday, March 23, 2009
shots of shenanigans...
happy birthday, mrs. K!
pedi time with mom and lbell:
family dinner Friday night:
Saturday garage sale:
plus, these are my new favorite shoes I got at Tuesday Morning for $8:
I think the sun I got while garage sale-ing shorted a few brain circuits, because I did *not* get any photos of lovely dinner with whitney and the McDees, nor any at the concert we all attended Saturday night. Andrew Bird was great... he definitely has the stink of eccentric musical genius, and it's always such a treat to watch a musician make excellence look effortless and super-fun. bummer that I have no shots of it, but if a picture says a thousand words, my aching back and creaky legs, sore from STANDING FOR AN ENTIRE ROCK SHOW, might be whispering that I'm getting older. and that I might need more support than my flip flops provide.
I just wanna be cool. sniff.
anyway, it was so great to hang out with these guys... I loved sitting around our table and hearing stories!
church Sunday was good, and I really enjoyed our small group, 242, that night at S&C's. just a good, lovely, thoughtful, laid-back time with tasty food and sweet people. it was a wonderful way to start the week.
nighty-night, comrades.
-m.y.
pedi time with mom and lbell:
family dinner Friday night:
Saturday garage sale:
plus, these are my new favorite shoes I got at Tuesday Morning for $8:
I think the sun I got while garage sale-ing shorted a few brain circuits, because I did *not* get any photos of lovely dinner with whitney and the McDees, nor any at the concert we all attended Saturday night. Andrew Bird was great... he definitely has the stink of eccentric musical genius, and it's always such a treat to watch a musician make excellence look effortless and super-fun. bummer that I have no shots of it, but if a picture says a thousand words, my aching back and creaky legs, sore from STANDING FOR AN ENTIRE ROCK SHOW, might be whispering that I'm getting older. and that I might need more support than my flip flops provide.
I just wanna be cool. sniff.
anyway, it was so great to hang out with these guys... I loved sitting around our table and hearing stories!
church Sunday was good, and I really enjoyed our small group, 242, that night at S&C's. just a good, lovely, thoughtful, laid-back time with tasty food and sweet people. it was a wonderful way to start the week.
nighty-night, comrades.
-m.y.
because I'm a big dork
I will say plainly that I miss So You Think You Can Dance. last season was my first to really follow the show and it makes me want to... you know... dance.
I especially like these girls, who were my favorites... chelsie, who's apparently on Dancing With the Stars now:
it should be said that my real fave dance of hers is probably still 'Bleeding Love', which I posted months ago... M and I both totally loved it.
and here's katee:
this has all come up because, while flipping channels, we caught a glimpse of someone who looked like chelsie on DWTS, which led me to the internet to see if it was her (affirmative), which led me to youtube to watch dances from last season that I loved, which made me realize how much I enjoyed that show.
come back into our lives, Cat Deely, you saucy Aussie host. we miss you and your intriguing clothing choices.
I especially like these girls, who were my favorites... chelsie, who's apparently on Dancing With the Stars now:
it should be said that my real fave dance of hers is probably still 'Bleeding Love', which I posted months ago... M and I both totally loved it.
and here's katee:
this has all come up because, while flipping channels, we caught a glimpse of someone who looked like chelsie on DWTS, which led me to the internet to see if it was her (affirmative), which led me to youtube to watch dances from last season that I loved, which made me realize how much I enjoyed that show.
come back into our lives, Cat Deely, you saucy Aussie host. we miss you and your intriguing clothing choices.
Friday, March 20, 2009
birthday bounty
this week has bee JAM PACKED with so many wonderful things. seriously, I've had Birthday Week. which is a really lovely thing, because I'll be honest... I don't really have high expectations of such things. years of being single do that to you.
the past four days were actually such a blur that I feel I must consult my planner to remind myself of where I've been:
5 VO sessions
7 clients served
1 audition
1.5 yoga tapes
2 episodes of anime timecoded and written
client billing
studio fees added up and hashed out
garage sale advertised
garage sale prepped for
laundry attacked
house picked up - twice
something most folks don't get to say.. on my thirty-sixth birthday, I voiced a butterfly, a sultry-ish pen, and a rapping mouse. range, people.
I worked hard, but I built in good play time, too. which made the work-time more intense, but I've really tried to guard my fun, people time this week and not let it get trampled by obligations. here's the fun time in photoz, starting with the yummy dinner my husband made for me Monday night to ring in birthday week:
that asparagus was SO GOOD I asked him to make some more.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm to the maxx.
Tuesday, we met the Bells at Michaelangelo's for birthday dinner (blackened tilapia with crabmeat and mushrooms, flipping awesome):
where I was given this precious, sweet gift:
I was a voracious reader when I was young and enjoyed a lot of series, but this one has always held a special place in my imagination. I was fascinated by these stories and can't wait to revisit them.
after dinner we initiated the Bells into the society of those who frequent The Chocolate Bar:
my father-in-law is totally grooving to the jazz players over in the corner. I embraced the fear and chose the Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake, with real chocolate buttercream frosting and cocoa.
your eyes do not deceive you... the cake slice is as big as my head. even though I shared with everyone, I still took home a chunk of cake. delectable.
on my actual birthday, a day most chock-filled with activity, work, and sitting in traffic, I got to go hang out at church and have precious mental/heart health time... see friends, breathe, knit and get fun knitting accoutrement from my mentor, Mrs. McD, and accept this too-cute cherry serving set and towel from my B2 :
then M took me home and made one of my favorite meals...
eggs benedict, baby.
(if you check out the eggs, you'll note that they look different, because he is perfecting the process and trying different methods of egg cookery. because he's an explorer that way.)
eggs benedict seriously makes me turn into Homer Simpson drooling down his shirt.... aaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhgggggghhhh, baconyeggyhollandaise...
my husband also got me a really wonderful, luxurious gift:
um, don't mind that jar of bacon grease in the background there... ha! M thinks the mixer looks like the creature in Alien, so we've named her Mother. :) everyone who owns one raves about it, and our imaginations are already wild with all of the things we'll make with this contraption. we do love to cook, so if you haven't been over in awhile for dinner give us a call so we can put this baby to work, because I didn't rearrange our kitchen to make room for her to NOT mix it up!
in short, I'm fairly spoiled, which is evidenced by this post. I haven't even mentioned the sweet cards I received that made me feel so special, and all of the birthday shout-outs on facebook were honestly overwhelming. I'm so very grateful. I know Who every good gift comes from, and sometimes I'm still amazed at the blessing poured out on me, in ways that blow my mind and make me cry.
and now I must go for the icing on the cake of my week, the reason I worked so hard to get all of the laborious things done by this morning - my mom and dad are in town for the rodeo, and after brunching with friends I'm picking up Mom and we're going to hang out with L. Bell, to just be girls and stuff, and tonight I'm hoping to dine with more family. and if I sign off right now, I still have time to run the vacuum.
I multitask.
I productive.
I crazy?
I love.
I make.
I thirty-six!
-m.y.
the past four days were actually such a blur that I feel I must consult my planner to remind myself of where I've been:
5 VO sessions
7 clients served
1 audition
1.5 yoga tapes
2 episodes of anime timecoded and written
client billing
studio fees added up and hashed out
garage sale advertised
garage sale prepped for
laundry attacked
house picked up - twice
something most folks don't get to say.. on my thirty-sixth birthday, I voiced a butterfly, a sultry-ish pen, and a rapping mouse. range, people.
I worked hard, but I built in good play time, too. which made the work-time more intense, but I've really tried to guard my fun, people time this week and not let it get trampled by obligations. here's the fun time in photoz, starting with the yummy dinner my husband made for me Monday night to ring in birthday week:
that asparagus was SO GOOD I asked him to make some more.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm to the maxx.
Tuesday, we met the Bells at Michaelangelo's for birthday dinner (blackened tilapia with crabmeat and mushrooms, flipping awesome):
where I was given this precious, sweet gift:
I was a voracious reader when I was young and enjoyed a lot of series, but this one has always held a special place in my imagination. I was fascinated by these stories and can't wait to revisit them.
after dinner we initiated the Bells into the society of those who frequent The Chocolate Bar:
my father-in-law is totally grooving to the jazz players over in the corner. I embraced the fear and chose the Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake, with real chocolate buttercream frosting and cocoa.
your eyes do not deceive you... the cake slice is as big as my head. even though I shared with everyone, I still took home a chunk of cake. delectable.
on my actual birthday, a day most chock-filled with activity, work, and sitting in traffic, I got to go hang out at church and have precious mental/heart health time... see friends, breathe, knit and get fun knitting accoutrement from my mentor, Mrs. McD, and accept this too-cute cherry serving set and towel from my B2 :
then M took me home and made one of my favorite meals...
eggs benedict, baby.
(if you check out the eggs, you'll note that they look different, because he is perfecting the process and trying different methods of egg cookery. because he's an explorer that way.)
eggs benedict seriously makes me turn into Homer Simpson drooling down his shirt.... aaaaaaaaaaaggghhhhhhhhgggggghhhh, baconyeggyhollandaise...
my husband also got me a really wonderful, luxurious gift:
um, don't mind that jar of bacon grease in the background there... ha! M thinks the mixer looks like the creature in Alien, so we've named her Mother. :) everyone who owns one raves about it, and our imaginations are already wild with all of the things we'll make with this contraption. we do love to cook, so if you haven't been over in awhile for dinner give us a call so we can put this baby to work, because I didn't rearrange our kitchen to make room for her to NOT mix it up!
in short, I'm fairly spoiled, which is evidenced by this post. I haven't even mentioned the sweet cards I received that made me feel so special, and all of the birthday shout-outs on facebook were honestly overwhelming. I'm so very grateful. I know Who every good gift comes from, and sometimes I'm still amazed at the blessing poured out on me, in ways that blow my mind and make me cry.
and now I must go for the icing on the cake of my week, the reason I worked so hard to get all of the laborious things done by this morning - my mom and dad are in town for the rodeo, and after brunching with friends I'm picking up Mom and we're going to hang out with L. Bell, to just be girls and stuff, and tonight I'm hoping to dine with more family. and if I sign off right now, I still have time to run the vacuum.
I multitask.
I productive.
I crazy?
I love.
I make.
I thirty-six!
-m.y.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
married green day groove
* warning, rapper language ahead...
JUMP AROUND for St. Patrick's Day! from married yoshimi on Vimeo.
* House of Pain was an Irish-styled American hip-hop group who released three albums in the early to mid 1990s before lead rapper Everlast decided to pursue his solo career again. The group is best known for its 1992 hit single "Jump Around", which reached #3 in the United States, #6 in Ireland and #8 in the United Kingdom. -- Wikepedia
JUMP AROUND for St. Patrick's Day! from married yoshimi on Vimeo.
* House of Pain was an Irish-styled American hip-hop group who released three albums in the early to mid 1990s before lead rapper Everlast decided to pursue his solo career again. The group is best known for its 1992 hit single "Jump Around", which reached #3 in the United States, #6 in Ireland and #8 in the United Kingdom. -- Wikepedia
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
busy busy...
but while taking a time-out to eat some cereal and surf a bit, I found Godgrown's post today to be very thought-provoking. maybe you might, too.
-m.y.
-m.y.
Friday, March 13, 2009
I don't enjoy driving in the rain.
I REALLY don't enjoy driving in the rain at night. on a two-lane highway. with 18-wheelers.
don't like it.
don't want to share wet, hard-to-see space with big trucks blinding me with their spray. sorry, trucks, get your own road.
tense. and makes for a slow trip.
podcasts didn't help soothe the situation, which is unusual, but Andrew Bird finally did. his newest record was a good grody-wet-drive antidote - suddenly, the trip was.. cinematic or something. romantic. I listen to so much spoken word stuff that I forget how music can do that. magic! :)
I have chicken and dumplings - ok, first attempt at typing that was 'dumblinks' - in my belly, and dear husband has run a nice bubble bath and placed my new Real Simple neatly on the towel for me to peruse whilst soaking.
I love coming home. and because I'm already feeling so much better, enjoy the following jam:
bring it, weekend! I am sleeping in.
-m.y.
don't like it.
don't want to share wet, hard-to-see space with big trucks blinding me with their spray. sorry, trucks, get your own road.
tense. and makes for a slow trip.
podcasts didn't help soothe the situation, which is unusual, but Andrew Bird finally did. his newest record was a good grody-wet-drive antidote - suddenly, the trip was.. cinematic or something. romantic. I listen to so much spoken word stuff that I forget how music can do that. magic! :)
I have chicken and dumplings - ok, first attempt at typing that was 'dumblinks' - in my belly, and dear husband has run a nice bubble bath and placed my new Real Simple neatly on the towel for me to peruse whilst soaking.
I love coming home. and because I'm already feeling so much better, enjoy the following jam:
bring it, weekend! I am sleeping in.
-m.y.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I should be writing... (for work, not for blog)...
but I'm ready for the last post to move down the page.
I'm in Dallas working, and so far the week is going well. I have a couple of new episodes to write and timecode that are due next week and I'm challenged to really get cracking on them when I'm recording these long days, but really I'm just having a blessed week. God is Good and Faithful, in case you didn't know.
here are photos from time spent with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece last weekend. my arms are still a little sore from carrying the 2 year old at the zoo. much respect for the parents out there, I wasn't aware of all the heavy lifting. :) love, family!! thank you for the cookies!!
and now I should write a bit. I seriously need to attack it and get into a groove.
however, I'm also in need of a bath. really. recording booth funk and all. shooo-wheee.
priorities, priorities....
methinks the attack on animated high school girls kendo team go-fight-win will have to resume tomorrow.
-m.y. goes to run her water and indulge in a teensy smidgeon of awful reality tv
I'm in Dallas working, and so far the week is going well. I have a couple of new episodes to write and timecode that are due next week and I'm challenged to really get cracking on them when I'm recording these long days, but really I'm just having a blessed week. God is Good and Faithful, in case you didn't know.
here are photos from time spent with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece last weekend. my arms are still a little sore from carrying the 2 year old at the zoo. much respect for the parents out there, I wasn't aware of all the heavy lifting. :) love, family!! thank you for the cookies!!
and now I should write a bit. I seriously need to attack it and get into a groove.
however, I'm also in need of a bath. really. recording booth funk and all. shooo-wheee.
priorities, priorities....
methinks the attack on animated high school girls kendo team go-fight-win will have to resume tomorrow.
-m.y. goes to run her water and indulge in a teensy smidgeon of awful reality tv
Monday, March 2, 2009
just a little crazy.
sometimes I tour crazy-land. it's usually a short visit, but it's scandalizing nonetheless... in the 'why am I such a loony loon?!' sort of way.
I know the train has left the station bound for the outskirts of Kuckoo City when I realize something's happened - or perhaps it's something as small as a thought, like "wow, we have 2 hours to grocery shop and get home and put everything away and get to the church for class but I also need to be ready to hit my workshop later 'cause there won't be time after the class and I can't print new resumes 'cause my black ink cartridge is out maybe I can print it in dark blue and they won't notice oh WHY didn't I get up earlier today and there's no coffee either" - those kinds of thoughts - anyway, something happens and, if we define a score of 0 as being 'whatever, it's cool, I'm the most laid-back person you know', I'm at 15. FIF-FLIPPIN-TEEN. Immediately. flustered and mad and mopey. p'raps it could be, oh, realizing that you left your planner on the counter at Randalls 6 hours earlier, after you'd attended a lovely lady's memorial service and were emotionally teetering. the disinterested party answering the phone at the Randall's at 10:45pm says they say they haven't found it and you can't go check until morning. I'm left to fume, imagining having to recreate my milage stats I keep so brilliantly in that one place. wondering if I mistakenly left a bank stub in the planner, if my bank account would be tampered with by a dishonest soul that *could* have my planner. grrrr. my poor husband had to go to sleep next to a stiff, human-sized frown. who's profoundly frustrated at herself and her humanity.
so it makes me mad, these things. I don't like feeling disorganized. I don't like feeling stupid. but I also don't like feeling out of control, and sometimes my emotions really make me their female dog. if you know what I mean. this morning I had a voice over session, and totally put my foot in my mouth in front of the client, mostly because I was just trying a little too hard. and there it was again - 'how stupid are you! mash the edit button before you open your mouth! what must they think - they'll never hire you again. better shut up and hope the rest of the session goes well.' we are sooo mean to ourselves, right? by the time I got home all I wanted to do was eat a plate of nachos and cheese toast.
so this was my Lent meditation for the day:
I FIND THAT FOR ME, the most direct way to healing, transformation, and guidance is to give explicitly to God’s heart each bodily pain, each wave of anger or fear, each embarrassment, each perplexity, each inner confusion, each person for whom I pray. I know God’s heart will take what is offered, hold it, heal it, and transform it into the creative energy it is meant to be.
I am learning to release past hurtful memories, as well as challenging future events, to God’s heart. I am learning to send to that heart my experiences right now: driving, cleaning, phoning, writing, taking a walk, entering a plane, welcoming my family at the door.
- Flora Slosson Wuellner
Miracle: When Christ Touches Our Deepest Need
From pp. 93-94 of Miracle by Flora Slosson Wuellner. Copyright © 2008 by the author. All Rights Reserved. Used with permission of Upper Room Books.
it's nice, isn't it? I claim that idea today, of letting everything pass through me and go directly on to God instead of the bad stuff camping out in my skin. I *know* everyone deals with these feelings, and I really want to be the sort of person who can roll with things instead of being tossed around on the waves of emotional reaction. btw, a nice lady from Randall's did call... they found my planner on the manager's desk. whew. and thank you, God.
before I close this post, I must say how sad I am that Miss Mary is no longer with us. she was dear, and we'll miss her. I was trying to remember her potting soil recipe... I want to say it's 1/2 goat manure 1/2 peat moss with a sprinkling of plant food in the soil... anyway, I admire how she lived her life, and I'm glad she's no longer in pain.
and if this doesn't make you laugh, I don't know what will. I totally lifted it from dooce's website.
I know the train has left the station bound for the outskirts of Kuckoo City when I realize something's happened - or perhaps it's something as small as a thought, like "wow, we have 2 hours to grocery shop and get home and put everything away and get to the church for class but I also need to be ready to hit my workshop later 'cause there won't be time after the class and I can't print new resumes 'cause my black ink cartridge is out maybe I can print it in dark blue and they won't notice oh WHY didn't I get up earlier today and there's no coffee either" - those kinds of thoughts - anyway, something happens and, if we define a score of 0 as being 'whatever, it's cool, I'm the most laid-back person you know', I'm at 15. FIF-FLIPPIN-TEEN. Immediately. flustered and mad and mopey. p'raps it could be, oh, realizing that you left your planner on the counter at Randalls 6 hours earlier, after you'd attended a lovely lady's memorial service and were emotionally teetering. the disinterested party answering the phone at the Randall's at 10:45pm says they say they haven't found it and you can't go check until morning. I'm left to fume, imagining having to recreate my milage stats I keep so brilliantly in that one place. wondering if I mistakenly left a bank stub in the planner, if my bank account would be tampered with by a dishonest soul that *could* have my planner. grrrr. my poor husband had to go to sleep next to a stiff, human-sized frown. who's profoundly frustrated at herself and her humanity.
so it makes me mad, these things. I don't like feeling disorganized. I don't like feeling stupid. but I also don't like feeling out of control, and sometimes my emotions really make me their female dog. if you know what I mean. this morning I had a voice over session, and totally put my foot in my mouth in front of the client, mostly because I was just trying a little too hard. and there it was again - 'how stupid are you! mash the edit button before you open your mouth! what must they think - they'll never hire you again. better shut up and hope the rest of the session goes well.' we are sooo mean to ourselves, right? by the time I got home all I wanted to do was eat a plate of nachos and cheese toast.
so this was my Lent meditation for the day:
I FIND THAT FOR ME, the most direct way to healing, transformation, and guidance is to give explicitly to God’s heart each bodily pain, each wave of anger or fear, each embarrassment, each perplexity, each inner confusion, each person for whom I pray. I know God’s heart will take what is offered, hold it, heal it, and transform it into the creative energy it is meant to be.
I am learning to release past hurtful memories, as well as challenging future events, to God’s heart. I am learning to send to that heart my experiences right now: driving, cleaning, phoning, writing, taking a walk, entering a plane, welcoming my family at the door.
- Flora Slosson Wuellner
Miracle: When Christ Touches Our Deepest Need
From pp. 93-94 of Miracle by Flora Slosson Wuellner. Copyright © 2008 by the author. All Rights Reserved. Used with permission of Upper Room Books.
it's nice, isn't it? I claim that idea today, of letting everything pass through me and go directly on to God instead of the bad stuff camping out in my skin. I *know* everyone deals with these feelings, and I really want to be the sort of person who can roll with things instead of being tossed around on the waves of emotional reaction. btw, a nice lady from Randall's did call... they found my planner on the manager's desk. whew. and thank you, God.
before I close this post, I must say how sad I am that Miss Mary is no longer with us. she was dear, and we'll miss her. I was trying to remember her potting soil recipe... I want to say it's 1/2 goat manure 1/2 peat moss with a sprinkling of plant food in the soil... anyway, I admire how she lived her life, and I'm glad she's no longer in pain.
and if this doesn't make you laugh, I don't know what will. I totally lifted it from dooce's website.
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