two things...

one: sushi with heart friend is the bomb. ah, the healing powers of edamame, stuff wrapped with seaweed, and lilacgrill across the table...

and two: my heart is broken for T and J today.

yawn...

so last night, I fell asleep on the sofa watching 'Fringe', a new show we DVR'd. I passed out, then woke up a little after 10 and crawled in bed to sleeeeepppp..... the body is such a cool thing. I recorded a couple of hours of narration yesterday, went and recorded three radio commercials, took Chi to the vet... and when I got home I already felt pooped and wrung out. I think my body's shutting down and choosing sleep is helping keep me from getting sick... little sniffles and a general achy-ness make me think sickness wants to move in for a few days, but I've got some work to wade through here. so today, as I prepare to go read more chapters of a business course, I'm very grateful for the good sleep.

I've gotten more of the long-project narration work... this week's business course is just the tip of the iceberg. I spend next week in Dallas working, so right now we're just trying to manage how to get all of the recording done and satisfy the Indians (this is how we refer to them... an American company outsources these courses to some companies in India, who then turn around and contract this studio for the audio portion. weird.).

I didn't set out to do voice work, not originally. I mean, it's not all that I do - I do on-camera work and anything else I can book as well, and I've been writing anime on the side lately - but voice acting has certainly come to make up the lion's share of my income for awhile. college was mostly about theatre and local commercials... I was known far and wide as the Mitchell Pontiac Toyota Girl. ;) the first time I really thought of the possibilities of making money with my voice was in grad school... our voice teacher, Bob, told us about the Folger's guy - he had a house on Long Island with a studio in his home, and recorded his spots there and sent them in. it sounded crazy to me, but... awesome. I did a few spots in Baton Rouge, and then when I moved to Houston and signed with my agent, I quickly booked voice work. from there, it's been like any other business - if you stick around in one place long enough, you work with people, you try to do a good job, they like you, they hire you again. you develop a reputation and relationships, and try to build a base of clients that bring steady (as steady as it can be) work. it's pretty cool, and I'm so blessed to be able to act full-time. it was a colorful road getting here:

high school: I worked for an older couple from church who owned a gift shop and a florist.
college: I was an Arts at ASU representative, and waited tables at Mejor Que Nada during the summers.
grad school: I was on the publicity team for the Dept, and cleaned house for a semi-retired LSU professor. God love Mrs. Simms.
after the move to Houston:
I was hired by JW Productions, a company that co-produces some of the big festivals in town, to be a Production Assistant, and then I was hired across the hall by a woman who owns a sponsorships and promotions company, as an office assistant (I would work for JW, WP, and the festivals on and off for years and sometimes still do, doing various event prep and odd jobs). I left there and went to work briefly for a PR firm, and then heard that a job-share team at a radio station was looking for a part-time assistant. I was with those ladies for 5.5 years, and during that time also had a short stint doing bookkeeping for a local photographer. the component that all of these jobs shared, aside from working with great people, was flexibility... I've gotta have it to pursue acting. and everyone I worked with was so wonderful about understanding this requirement and working with me. there were some crazy times, when I was working three and four jobs at once... whew. it was a good way to learn to be a private contractor... I've done it for so long now, I can't imagine another way to work.

anyway, I'm just feeling blessed today. work is a funny thing... I'm always still looking around for something else to catch my eye. I like change in my work-life, and I'm curious to see if something new will come along that I really want to try...

and now I have to fill this coffee mug and go read 14 chapters about business.

tgif

portrait of a feline taking it all in:





portrait of a happy dog:





portrait of flowers cut out of the backyard this morning:





*****

here's the trailer for the awesome independent film M and I met on...




awesome.


*****

*MAJOR Office spoiler ahead*


*I'm warning you...*




Jim proposed last night!! I literally stood up and clasped my hands to my mouth. so sweet! I made M back the DVR up so I could see it again... and he didn't delete it so I can watch it again if I want to! if I can figure out the freaking DVR...

to commemorate a new season of The Office, I gave myself a pedi! it was much, much needed.... been walking around with chipped and sad looking toes for weeks. I used to get them done regularly at University Nails on Bellaire, and then Magic Nails on Shepard when I moved to Montrose. Somewhere along the way in the past year and a half, my priorities shifted...

anyhoo, they look spicy. ;)



happy weekend!

mmmm....

every so often, a moment in time... or in a month... comes along where a woman might not feel her very best. rare, I know, but it happens. at those times, it is a truly decadent and comforting thing to partake of this breakfast: a cup or two of creme brulee coffee and a couple of pieces of vitamin fortified edible gold:




don't judge and talk to me about the benefits of oatmeal and orange juice today. I know you feel me deep down.

M actually thought to pick it up for me at the grocery store last night. it is good to live with someone who knows about these things.


*****

adios, Suede. project runway will miss you. I want someone to smack Kinley. nobody sasses t. gunn!


*****

how do you know if and when grocery stores double or triple coupons... and which ones will they take?


*****

finished one episode of baseball anime, and on to another. oy. I'm finding myself sluggish this week. getting out of bed is hard and everything seems to take longer to accomplish than it should. I told M this morning I think it's my body's way of recovering from the pre-hurricane/hurricane/post-hurricane schedule. I'd rather think that than believe I'm just sleepy and generally undisciplined.


*****

my friend SKG is heading to nepal next week to film footage for a documentary about the indentured servitude of women there, and she'll be living with women who've been rescued. such a huge and exciting venture into the unknown! I have so much admiration for her... so brave, and so curious and passionate about life and people. I'll see you saturday night in your backyard, girl! may God protect you on this journey...

for my toi-bird...

just got off the phone with one of my dearest friends, telling her that M and I want to crash at their house outside of Philly and take in a lot of American History touristy stuff next month.  I cannot WAIT to see this girl and her pregnant belly! oh, and her rockin' husby, J. ;)

this is her website... her designs are sooo beautiful!

love you, faithful friend.  'member this?

celebrating the new fujiya & miyagi...

these guys are fun and make me wanna groove... I first heard them at the Pitchfork Music Festival last year in Chicago, w/ M. thanks for putting the new stuff in my tunes, honey!





I would also like to give a shout out to my new favorite cleaner:



it's a good thing, as M.S. would say.

omg. (that's gosh, by the way...)

today's goings-on:

* I am currently writing an anime about baseball, and desperately trying to recall every little tidbit I learned when playing elementary girls softball... because I was so awesome at it..??

* Ike left me with an insane amount of laundry. mostly because I can be a little crazy about spores and bacteria and anything else that might try to tickle my allergies, so if there's a woven fabric in this house it's going into the washer.

* I can't wait for Pam and Jim to get married on The Office.

* We watched American History X the other night, and now I have a little crush on Ed Norton. I know he's crazy and made out with Courtney Love. it's a talent-crush and I can't help it.

* whilst writing baseball anime, I've also taken in a lot of CNN today and the congressional hearing about the bailout. I'm glad they're arguing about these things. I am highly awfully amazingly against a fear-driven, reactive pledge to Mr. Paulson and Mr. Bernanke for 700 billion dollars up front to just 'fix it' as they make up a plan as they go along. holy moly. that's probably not an accurate depiction of what they're doing but that's what it feels like.

> this next part turned into a rambling, opinion piece... feel free to skip to the next asterisk if you wish.

interestingly, yesterday I wrapped narrating an online finance course, 20 long chapters *coughdrinkmorewater* of terms that have been all over the news for weeks. though there was much I didn't grasp (so many formulas!) and even more I needed further instruction about, I managed to follow a lot of it. one of the things I took away was the number of new credit 'instruments' that have been created for more people to be able to purchase things like homes and businesses and funds for operating costs of their various businesses. it all boils down to a lot of creative financing, to get more people in the credit pool so that ultimately lenders can bundle the notes and investors can.. well, invest in them, and money begins to flow in and out and up and through all sorts of echelons of markets. a lot of you already knew that, but it filled in some gaps for me... and I still have lots of questions for someone smart in these areas. being a person who enjoys paying things off early - cars, mortgages... I'll even pay insurance off every 6 months, because it saves a little $$ and it's one less bill to pay a month - it interested me to learn that lenders generally don't want you to pay anything off early, because their investors are in the game for the 30 year mortgage-plus-interest return or whatever.

anyway, I'm following all of this pretty closely, trying to keep up. I'll say this... I used to sort of blindly believe that people elected to office must be privy to information I don't have, that they were hired for their wisdom and commitment to their duties and that they were generally, probably right when they acted. I no longer believe that. The reactive nature of Mr. Paulson and Mr. Bernanke's 'plan' completely scares the crap out of me... mostly because I can't see logic in it. "The government has to bail them out, they're the only one who can and the world market is at stake!" is panic-speak, not a logical economic plan, and does not explain how such action will create some sort of sustainable economic stability while dealing with all of the mess that caused the meltdown. I'm afraid what they're considering is just prolonging the inevitable... which is that something, somewhere, will have to bleed from these gaping economic wounds. I think I get it... the plan would be for the Gov to have access to a lot of taxpayer money and buy up a ton of bad debt from these institutions, so the banks and whatnot could feel free to extend themselves again and the Gov could sell the debt later for a profit... so theoretically, later the funds would come back as 'income'. However, I also read that it was leaked that the Gov was going to offer above-market price to banks and such for their crappy debt, and if that were true I say 'NO!' to it. Banks do not get to profit, do not get to prosper from these times, and neither does Wall Street or any CEO. Not with my self-employed tax dollars. another term I picked up from reading the never-ending finance course... 'RISK'. They've all taken huge risks, and enjoyed the spoils of bubbly hybrid credit instruments for a long time, and if they have to tighten up and credit is a little harder to extend for awhile... well, that's called a consequence. a really sucky one for small businesses and people whose lives and livelihoods are dependent on credit. thank you, lenders and investors and Wall Street and anyone elected to an office whose job is to pay attention. same for citizens... if it's tougher to get credit for awhile while things stabalize, how can we really complain? we helped create this bed. look at the hundreds of thousands of people around you choking under the weight of their debt... or who walked away from their homes with crazy interest rates, homes they paid no money to get into so why SHOULD they feel invested in them? oh man, I remember vividly the day I gave what seemed like a huge money order to a title company... it wasn't fun. it was stressful and the magnitude of the obligation I'd just entered into sent me straight to my bed for a few hours. I guess my biggest issue is this: you cannot float bad behavior and hope it will change into good behavior. there is no incentive. painful consequences don't have to be the end of the world, and can turn the tide. 'rock bottom' and all. and lessons learned, though sometimes really, really painful, can grow into some amazing, hard-earned wisdom on the other side. I just can't see the other side yet.

observation: apparently, there are no fiscal conservatives left. and that bumms me out.

and by the way, if ANY presidential candidate even hints at 'cutting taxes'.... HAAAAA!!!! tee-hee and holy smokes, that WOULD be magical math! and after I stop laughing... I'll get sober fast imagining what the babies being born now are going to inherit from all of this. and of course, fiscal matters are just a piece of the picture. Father, what would YOU have us do? what would you have me do, as a follower of yours, in a time like this?

okay, all of that was just.... whatever. that was purely for my psyche. and I'm sure it's very lopsided all over. and later I'll want to edit. *first edit... after convo w/ my husband about the day, I feel the need to write down some things that came up - are people who run banks/treasuries/etc. capable of making choices that cut out their fiscal arteries? at what point are possible solutions limited by self-preservation? and how much of the $700 billion do you suppose would be used to prop up the U.S. in the global market... and the other day M proposed that the gov use their power to do something like freeze credit scores or something for a period of time, so people who lose their homes can at least go qualify for an apartment. anyway, just some thoughts.

* dangit! I only meant to do a fun little post and my husband will be home soon and there's still stuff to do around here! arghhh.

* I forgot to mention... we got power Saturday. we had come over here to the house to do a little cleanup, and it came on while we were here. there is no other word for it... I felt RICH in this house, where you flipped a switch and a light came on, water turned to ice in the freezer, and the ceiling fans dispersed the blessed air-conditioning. then I got crazy and started cleaning like a fiend... more physical labor than I'd done in awhile, apparently, because Sunday I could barely move.

* write softly... chino is doing well, thank you for asking! he's playing and sleeping a lot and generally enjoying his life. at least, that's what it looks like from here. I love your baby's soft spiky hair!!

* lilacsonthegrill... the latest Real Simple is good! I cracked it open last night!!

* lovely blue skies... gets a huge congratulatory hug!

* and yoshimi gets to go fold laundry.


bonus: because I know everyone wants to know how many actual hours it takes to read 20 chapters of a finance course...

ten. and a half. is it too late to invest in Ozarka? ah... maybe I'll just buy a Brita. with cash.

;)

okay, so...

we made it through the hurricane. it's not over yet - the aftermath - but we're blessed to be on this side of that storm. I've been touched reading my friends' accounts of their experiences, and thought I'd add my own.

first off, I was in Dallas working. I ended up cancelling my afternoon/evening recording hours Thursday and Friday to drive back to Houston to ride out the storm with my husband. one might think... you were somewhere safe, and went TOWARD the storm?! yes, yes, because my family is in Houston. the house I own is in Houston. and Houston proper was being told to stay put, prepare, and dig in, not evacuate. so, I hightailed it home. I did think to stop in Centerville and fill up my car with gas... I evacuated during Rita and learned my lesson. not my first time on the hurricane turnip truck. you get gas at every opportunity.

it was a gorgeous day:

and here is the sky when I got home four hours later:




we mostly waited Friday, listening to the wind and watching for signs of a hurricane. we ventured to our neighborhood Kroger and ran into B.Simms, a fantastic, funny older woman from our church, who also lives over in the east end. when we asked if she had boarded up her windows, she wrinkled up her nose and said, 'Naaaawwwww.... been there, done that." very non-plussed, that one. we went back to the house and hung around, watching local tv stations try to outdo each other with amazing, technicolor visual representations of the approaching weather monster. I did dishes. twice. I just didn't want Ike to catch me with dishes in the sink. we checked our prep: flashlights, batteries, lantern, candles, bottled water, various tools, trash bags, plenty of food, a couple of bags and a bucket of ice in the freezer...






and I filled buckets with water just in case we were without and wanted to, oh, flush a toilet or something...




it was fairly peaceful.




we lost power around 11ish. we looked at each other and said, 'okay!'. candles were lit. the wind was pretty strong by that point... I eventually drug our comforter into the dining room, the center and most temperate room of the house, and we all fell asleep on the floor - 2 humans, a dog, and a cat. I was awakened by a loud 'slap!', and as I bolted upright my first thought was "our cars!". not our cars, it turns out. yay! but water was coming into the house on the second floor and dripping down onto our ceiling tiles, and one had gotten heavy enough to drop out of the grid onto the floor. I scrambled to pick up the wet carpet runner and called to M to come help face rainwater in our home, and thus began 3 or 4 hours of dealing with buckets and towels and blankets and pots and pans and flashlights and teamwork and the blessed lantern and shifting, howling winds outside... that were less frightening because of the steady work and troubleshooting we were having to do inside. the place we currently live was built in the 30's I believe, and the winds seemed to dump gross-looking water into every crack and crevice. as we ran around trying to save our space and keep our things from being ruined (nothing was), I kept stopping to sweep and clean here and there... weird how such things make you feel better and more in control. sometime around 7 or 8a, when the weather was dying down a bit, we assured my family in west and central tx that we were alright via text and fell into the bed for a very welcome sleep.

I think we woke up and went back to sleep a couple of times. that's a surreal day in my memory. our backyard looked like this:




we did take the car (with it's rad air-conditioning and phone charger) and go drive around a bit, checking various neighborhoods, M's shop, auntie's house. the trees were definitely the most arresting things to look at. this city has beautiful trees. it made me sad to see how mangled they've become. we went back to the house to endure hands-down the WORST part of the experience... it was stiflingly hot that night, awful, with little wind blowing through the window I asked M to wedge open, and with the house still damp I began to feel like I was coming unglued. it was small comfort to think that I shared such discomfort with over 2 million people. sometime during the night it began to rain, and we decided to just open the back door and let the rainy wind come on in and bring us what relief it would. we lit a couple of citronella pails to deter pests (I'd bought them for our wedding but they never got used... they rule!), laid on the floor in the dining room again, thanked God for a breeze, and slept.

Sunday. I have to say, the morning was sort of fun for me in a 'roughin' it' kind of way. though we never lost water, I was impressed with the cautions of our mayor about boiling water just in case, so I boiled some on the gas stove and made a little candlelit bath for myself in the kitchen sink, washing my hair and everything. then I boiled some more and made oatmeal and coffee with my little drip cup thing. M and I knocked around a bit, playing solitaire and listening to the news via a walkman radio I found and hooked up to some speakers.




we drove over to check out our house on woodfin and the church. the house came through the storm awesomely, I am soooo thankful. our renters take such good care of the property - they'd put up boards on the windows and everything, and had even gotten their power back. the church... well, it was a strange combination of destruction and blessing. wall down, water damage, yet power and air-conditioning and ice, resources to bless and help our family and our neighbors. it was heartening and affecting to see friends working to help our building recover. I have been a member of SWC for... 8, 9 years now? that place, that family, has been a safe and rich harbor for me. my heart said 'amen!' when I read these words written by a friend of ours on his blog: "I dare you to find a group of people who love the Lord and serve him unfailing more than these folks. There are many who are equal, but none who are more." so sweet, JB, and I feel the same. M, B and I went to get food for the hard workers, and we finally made our way back home. we learned that M's parents had gotten power, so we packed a bag, cleaned up our place, threw all wet ceiling tiles in the trash bins outside and all wet towels and blankets in laundry baskets to wash at their house, and took off with the animals. I might have obsessively sprayed everything with Febreeze first.

I have to say... having family to stay with has been such a tremendous blessing. not just for the physical things that are wonderful... air-conditioning, a freezer to store our rescued veggies and meat, tv (somebody needs to restrain wayne dolcefino), a fabulous hot tub. just the support and help, the freedom to lay down and sleep on the couch without that 'I should be doing something' feeling, the shared meals... it all makes such an emotional difference.

No work could be done on Monday, as both studios I was booked at had no power, but we cleaned up our yard and M's parents' yard, and I did manage to finagle 6.5 hours of narration work Tuesday... mind-numbing. a finance course. reading pages and pages of terms and percentages and whatnot... exhausting, but it felt good to work. afterward, I found gas at 59 & Buffalo Speedway -15 minute wait, $30 limit, cash only. score. went by the house to pack another bag and Febreeze everything again... since we got everything that was wet out of the place, it's starting to smell normal again. I'll say it... I'm proud of M and I. We saved our living space... only the ceiling in one of the closets will have to be replaced. I made my way back out to my in-laws, to a wonderful steak dinner and a soak in the hot tub, before getting up at 4a yesterday to drive up here to Dallas to make up the work I skipped out on last week. let it be known - I'm not a morning person, and would not arbitrarily choose such hours. but sometimes it just seems to make the most sense, time-wise. L.B. woke up, too, poured me some coffee, and helped pack my food for the trip. then M got up to say goodbye, too. it was nice, being sent off that way into the dark morning. as I drove and gulped coffee, the sky slowly lit up:




I eventually made it to the studio and got crackin' at 10a, and I left last night at 10p. I worked again today, and will be happy to head home after another 7 hr stretch tomorrow. I'm blessed that other Houston sessions thwarted because of the hurricane were able to be rescheduled for Monday. I don't mean to be work-obsessed, but I own my biz and the husband and I have big dreams, see, so it's easy for me to stress about losing opportunities.

And speaking of the husband, here he is cooking me a lovely hot dog after the storm… the gas stove is a must for hurricanes! Your fancy bourgeois electric contraptions are useless!




some things I haven't said yet:

I'm sad about Galveston. how awful for the people there to lose so much.
we still don't have power.
the storm was humbling.
and a good distraction from the sad news about chino.
I hope our city recovers soon, and I hope the people continue to learn to make innovative lemonade with soggy, powerless lemons.
if I were of a different persuasion, I would totally launch a fence-building business right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST BROTHER EVER! I LOVE YOU!
that makes it my half-birthday, too.
I'm very, very thankful.

"take a hike, Ike!"

that slogan was written boarded up windows I saw in some of the coverage this morning down on the coast...

for some of my family, here is one of the most recent local articles about the storm...

can I just say the media, while well intentioned, is kind of misleading people just a smidge?  'Houston' isn't being evacuated right now.  the mandatory areas of evacuation are the coastal regions, Galveston, Freeport... up to just south of the beltway from the east, where they're not mandatory but recommended for those who stand a good chance of major flooding.  don't get me wrong - things could get bad, and we're anticipating a lot of rain and winds, but Houston is a ginormous city that is very spread out, and what is true for one part of it probably doesn't apply to others.  Plus, thankfully, unlike New Orleans, we're not below sea level and are set off from the coast a good ways, more like Baton Rouge.  again, not to downplay the significance of the storm.  but we're a coastal region that pretty much accepts storms and rain as a part of things.  we get bad storms.  hopefully, this one won't be the worst ever.  I still remember Hurricane Alicia back in the 80's... we lived in Channelview then, and floated around our culdesac in innertubes.  we'll see how things shape up...

  

beauty in the breakdown? I loved that song.

I have been TAGGED by JT! so here are 6 Random Things about me:

I have lived in 16 towns in my life.  13 of those were prior to college.

I am a long-term kind of person.  Maybe it's a result of moving a lot during my life, but I like to have long relationships with things... my city, my car, my animals, my church, my favorite bags.  I find people to be the hardest long-term relationships to keep and maintain.

Cleaning house is cathartic for me.  and clean sheets are important.

I have been in need of a pedicure for three weeks.  (I won't pay for one.  right now.  but I WILL find the inspiration to remove the chipped remains and paint 'em up myself.... soon.)

I am currently watching America's Next Top Model and enjoying the hotel air conditioning... M isn't here to roll his eyes at Tyra and the silly models and make responsible comments about the electric bill...  ;)

I love listening to podcasts.  I feel like they literally save me on trips.

*****

So it hasn't been the easiest week.  Sunday afternoon, we found out that Chino had malignant growth in his mouth, and today the oncologist laid all possible procedures and options out for my husband.  Chi isn't really showing any signs of being sick or anything, but this kind of cancer doesn't go away.  I'm out of town... which, in one way, I'm thankful for as it A) is distracting B) pays us money C) kept me from hearing first-hand all of the hard things M got this morning.  But then again, it means I'm 4.5 hrs away from my husband and our sweet, old pets, and our family is my real life.  Working here this week, really, feels like a shoe that doesn't fit.

I want to write this because I think I need to be a witness to it... Sunday, I was on very shaky ground.  Church had me weepy anyway, and when we got home, M's roast made everything feel so homey and good.  The vet left a message on my phone sometime during the afternoon, and I made M listen to it first.  He gave me the cliff's notes and then I had to call to speak with the doctor directly, who told me they would refer us to an oncologist and how sorry he was that he didn't have better news.  I was in fake-pleasant, automated, 'yes, thank you, that's okay, thank you very much, yes, bye-bye' mode, and it crossed my mind that he would think I was cold and didn't care that he'd just given me such grave information about the dog.  But really, I just hated him a lot in that moment and didn't want to talk to him at all any more ever again.  I was a mess the rest of the day, really.  I did some online searches and felt worse and worse... the internet told me, very bluntly, that mouth cancer in dogs is never good.  

So, how depressing is this?  pretty freaking depressing, but I'm accepting that this is part of how things work.   I have been so lucky to have this dog.  he found me during a very important part of my life, after I'd sworn off ever having a dog again.  my first marriage had fallen apart very quickly and dramatically and I wasn't making the best decisions ever (that questionable judgement was to continue in various forms for awhile), and in retrospect it's clear to me that God in his mercy sent me this beautiful, dear, spirited dog to have something outside of myself to focus on and take care of.  he -and Ripley for that matter, who's a year older than Chino - they have been so much a part of my adult evolution that it's a little heartbreaking to think of my home without their presence.   

All of this was swimming around in my head and making me feel on the verge of a breakdown the entire afternoon, and we were supposed to go to our church small group that night at TK's house.  I considered how to get out of going... because how could I NOT talk about this and NOT bawl my eyes out and who wants to do that and who wants to WATCH that?  But we said we'd bring the NY Times best-cookies-ever cookies.  and I knew it was the right thing to do.  and here's where I have to testify.

there is magic in throwing a frisbee with friends.  and attempting to throw a football.  freedom and space and acceptance happen when you quietly suck it up and blurt out to your friend - who you know loves her dogs as much as you love yours and is the safest place to fall down emotionally - to tell her of the sad news.  and feel the tightness in your chest seem to break apart a little with your confession of grieving something you love.  and then later it's easier, as you tell it again when others ask out of care and thoughtfulness, and allow it to all be real and transparent and not defining but just reality right now.  there is comfort in the potluck food that people bring, delight in the sweet babies of friends and the precious toddler finding her voice.  and, most of all, peace and reassurance to be found in the really lovely and profoundly necessary company of those who love the Lord, and who sang to him so openly about timeless yearnings and hopes and promises.  I felt so ministered to that I praise Him for his generosity to me, to both of us, in giving us this kind of community and a safe place to be who and where we are.

not that I'm done with being sad about it all... but it was... cathartic.  second time I've used that word in this post.  I understand why we're meant to live heart-close to other people, as hard as it is sometimes to grow those sorts of ties and as awkward as it can feel.  it goes way past being in the same group, or the same class, or showing up to the same events.  it's more... gained.  or allowed.  gently.  while sharing very rich cookies.

please pray for M and I... I come home Friday, and this weekend we're going to make some decisions for Chi.  in the interim, I think my husband will spoil the pets rotten.  =)  

P.S.  the song I love isn't 'Beauty in the Breakdown'... it's Let Go, by Frou Frou.  but the chorus says "it's alright, 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown".  so there you go, I don't have to change the post title!  if you saw Garden State, it was on the soundtrack.  here is a video someone made using it and their artwork.  I like it.. maybe you will, too.

three chicks beat a guy up, art-style...

Click here to see a killer video featuring yours truly... that's a good friend of mine with the fork, the one who got me involved with these crazies. we actually shot footage for a different short film contest, but this is apparently one where the object was to use songs of the new NIN album, and I think T.Reznor is judging.  I'm looking at you, lilacsonthegrill!!  you talked 'industry' with him, 'member?!  so... check it out and please help the robotboys by posting and saying how rad the camera work is and stuff!!

I am sorry...

but it is hilarious.  

week in review... so far...

the best things:

- new workout pants! the ones I was searching for that don't make me feel fat! my husband even encouraged me to get TWO PAIRS PLUS A SHIRT! FYI, the Victoria's Secret at the Galleria is worth braving the traffic and bother of going there... it's got a brand new huge room full of workout wear! the only one in Texas, even... so they said...
- being introduced to the HBO series John Adams... shall I be as virtuous and wise a wife as Laura Linney?
- vegetable lasagna
- getting my defensive driving over with
-waking up this morning to lovely weather
-craft night with girls
- discovering new blogs to read
- yearbookyourself.com
- iced tea with sweet-n-low. 1 bag. I was on a splenda kick but this week it's all about the pink.
- awesome lab results from my physical! my cholesterol will roger rabbit all over your cholesterol, son!
- taking the first whack at killing the second mortgage
- the text message I got from M today that he was missing me... and I'm not even out of town.

the meh things:

- all of this national convention business. it's sparked some interesting dialogue between my husband and I, but I keep thinking they're all expensive pep rallies for grown-ups. these people aren't saviors, and it's hard to buy into any of this fully. it is, however, very nice to see some good public speaking skills in play.
- this is not a 'meh' thing, but speaking of conventions, here is a link to a wonderful pic of my brother, photo #6, at the RNC.  I may not know how I feel about politics from day to day, but I'm crazy about him.
- back to 'meh' - the list of things to do that mocks me.

the thing that isn't my favorite:

- taking the 13 year old dog in for a dental cleaning - which is on our plan - to be told that they found a scary mole to cut out of his mouth and biopsy - not on our plan - to test for malignancy. results to come in a few days. and then we got to bring him home, wobbly and pathetic, carry him into the house, and watch him try to sleep off a crappy day. not the easiest afternoon for his mom, either, who does live near reality and knows the way of things but doesn't enjoy the idea of losing this sweet, furry beast just yet. victory - she managed to keep from yelling at anyone and the slapped-together prayer for sanity and grace before going in to pick him up helped a lot (thank you, Father). he's much better today, by the way. because awesome is how he rolls and his humans sprung for the pain pills. even the cat seems to be acting uncharacteristically tender toward him... or that could be my projection. blame Disney.


*****

edit:  oh wow, I almost left out pictures... scandalous, since this has evolved into Pictures of Food We Make Blog.  So here is the other night's homemade pizza... the wheat crust came from here, but can it really be called Whole Wheat Crust if there's white flour in the recipe? At any rate, it was good... we topped it with some of our favorite cheap, spicy spaghetti sauce, bacon cooked and stripped of fat, and sauteed spinach w/ garlic.  it was tast-eee.

before it went into the oven:





and when it came out:





long live the almost whole wheat carb.

labor day weekend!!

this Labor Day weekend has been pretty awesome. it sort of looked like:

Friday after work: M and I worked out and agreed to our September budget (he did most of the prelim stuff, and I contributed), we called in an order to Niko Niko's for tasty Greek dinner, and then watched the movie The Savages.

Saturday: volunteering at The Beacon on the early shift with friends. a really great experience, and one we're hoping to continue regularly. it was very cool to be a part of such an organized ministry to help the homeless in this city. then most of us went to La Mexicana on Montrose for tacos and conversation. yum. M and I organized a grocery list and spent most of the afternoon stocking up our pantry and household while the dog went and got a much-needed haircut. I spent some time with my nose in Reaching Out, a book by Henri Nouwen. it's been the focus of our discussion in our class on Sunday mornings for the last few weeks, and I filled in as discussion facilitator this weekend. really intriguing, layered book, totally recommended. as is our habit when I'm in town, we hit the Saturday night meeting where I was reminded about the power of perspective and attitude...

Sunday: church! I love going to church, and sitting by M while worshipping is one of the times that I feel most centered and blessed and safe. the class I facilitated even went well! we had lunch with some dear friends and a couple new to the church, and as I napped later in the day M called my grandma to snag her recipe for homemade chicken and noodles... or dumplings. but they look more like noodles, and that's what I call them. he even chronicled his efforts, so we'll post our recipe here. I also made some unbaked cookies, adding peanut butter and using special dark cocoa (because I love dark chocolate)... they looked like little mounds of poo, but oh are they flipping good! we feasted on chicken and noodles and unbaked cookies while watching Gone Baby Gone, and afterwards M had to leave the room when I got hooked watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman (although even I had to abandon it when the lead lady loses her mind with her awful paralyzed almost ex-husband in that bathroom scene).

Today: yesterday, my husband decreed that I would be boss of today. woo-hoo! so far, I've worked out (okay, technically I only did half of The Firm Body Sculpt, but I was beat and it was hard and Jen is tough and... it's better than nothing, right??), had a goodly amount of coffee, eaten a lovely sweet potato, and gotten through three sections of an online defensive driving course. don't drive drunk, people! check your mirrors! watch that allergy medication, it could slow your reflexes! I'm hoping to make a pizza later, baking my own whole wheat crust and featuring sauteed spinach w/ garlic, and the hubby has encouraged me to take a gift card and go look for a pair of workout pants.. I want something really specific, and have had a hard time finding them. we also discovered that men's ties are excellent kitty toys. anyway, it's just been lovely. lovely lovely lovely. like this:









and now, without further ado, THE MAKING OF GRANDMA'S CHICKEN AND NOODLES (M will have to contribute here... because I was sleeping during a lot of this)

M:  Howdy ya'll, M here.  L asked me to provide a little detail to her tale of the noodles, which is uncharacteristically lazy very generous of her.  I began with a 3 lb whole chicken that we got at the grocery store for about $4.  I used a cleaver and a long-toothed knife to quarter it and cut back most of the skin, which took about 5 minutes.  Doing this myself accomplished two things: it cut the cost of the meal in half (as whole chickens are significantly less expensive) and it raised the "icky gross" factor high enough to guarantee that this will become something that "I" cook.  The chicken went in a stock pot with about 2.5 quarts of water, bay, salt, pepper and garlic powder to taste.  Boil for an hour.

M:  Something I've come to learn about myself is that I am a servant.  I just love doing things for other people, and their happiness is a reward that we both get to enjoy.  A great deal of this gets directed toward my wife, but lately it extends to the pets as well.  The other night I baked treats for the cat, and on this night we found out someone in our house luuuuuvs boiled chicken guts.  We even didn't buy a roast at the store the other day because it didn't have any good bones in it for the dog.  I think this may be the male equivalent to the "ticking clock."  I'll own up to that.

M:  2 cups of flour (sifted), 2 eggs (not beaten), 2 tsp salt (um...salty) and 2 Tbs chicken stock in a large mixing bowl.  Make a flour volcano using a bit of the flour and put the eggs and stock in the crater.  Turn on the kitchen faucet and leave it running.  Use your fingers to work the egg/stock lava into the flour, slowly destroying the volcano and adding the rest of the flour as you go.  If your wife isn't asleep you can make Godzilla noises.  Using a motion generally reserved for bathroom hand dryers, try to keep as much of the dough in the bowl and off your fingers and work it all into a ball.  Use the running faucet to wash away any childhood trauma you may have regarding sticky, encrusted hands.  

M:  In the bowl, knead the dough ball and add flour so that nothing is sticky.  Yes, sticky things are the Devil's province, but in this case they also make for bad noodles.  If the recipe calls for 2 cups of flour, get ready to use 3 cuz we're going for dusty, dusty food.  Tear off a few feet of wax paper and flour it evenly.  Then roll your dough into the shape of the imaginary country you are President of, about 1/8" thick.

M:  I said to flour the wax paper evenly.  If you only flour, say, half of your wax paper properly, then when you cut your thin noodle strips only half of them will resemble noodles.  The other half will stick and tear and mock you, which can be truly annoying to an imaginary President.  Let those little rebellious bastards dry for about half an hour.

M:  The chicken should have cooked down like this.  At this point I removed the chicken and tore it into pieces.  My grandmother used to skip this step.  It really comes down to personal preference, like if you personally prefer a bunch of bones in your food.  L is not a fan of dark meat, so I tore the breasts into much larger chunks than the rest; this makes it super easy to serve your more discriminating guests whom you may or may not have recently sworn eternal oaths to.  

M:  Chicken back in the pot, bring back to a boil.  You can add more water if you want, and now's your chance to add any onion or peas & carrots, that sort of thing.  Once boiling, add the noodles one at a time.  This is no time to make WWII bomber plane noises, as it will undoubtedly cause you to make a splashy mess on the stove.  

M:  L's Grandma said to boil for about 20 minutes, which is what I did.  The noodles were pretty good, especially after some salt and pepper adjustments.  I kept thinking I still had too much liquid, so I boiled them some more while we watched a movie.  About the time the first cop starts lying about what he knew about the dead informant, go check on the noodles.  They'll be perfect.

M:  Like I said, perfect.