going home...

when I headed for home last Friday, it was a huge relief.  last week was semi-brutal; I was tired, and my voice was more tired.  but as I headed across the metroplex and then away from the city...  toward Granbury, then Glen Rose, then Hico - listening to wonderful back episodes of This American Life - the sky opened up and I felt my whole psyche breathe deeper and respond to the beauty of driving through rural Texas toward the setting sun hanging in a vast sky.  that part of the country is so beautiful to me... it's nostalgic, and it's home.  no matter how long I live in the city (and love it), I'll never deny that a part of my being needs the openness, wildness, and sense of freedom that can only be gained from getting the freak out of traffic and going where cell phone reception is very very spotty.




one of the best parts of this trip was my husband's surprise appearance. I thought I was going to be solo last weekend up there, but he took off and showed up at the house Friday night. after being out of town working all last week, it was SO GOOD to see him. I'm so honored and lucky to have someone who'll go to such lengths just for me! the last time he made that 4.5hr trip alone, it was to tell my parents he wanted to marry me. my mom got to try on my ring before I did...

we had such a good time up there. M and I are both so blessed, in that we actually 'like' our families. we watched football and talked politics - it's always colorful and people don't necessarily agree, but it's wonderful to be able to trot out ideas and opinions and hash things out a little with people who're still going to love you no matter how you feel about the war. :) my sister-in-law has started a new bible study, and her enthusiasm was inspiring. we saw all of the grandparents and celebrated mom and my brother's birthday, and watched M blow bubbles and laugh like crazy. speaking of her, here's a little sampling:

mo with uncle m:




out on the mule, wearing the mickey mouse shirt marmee gave her:




examining the contents of aunt lulu's cosmetic bag:




and this girl is CRAZY about animals. I mean it - she was concerned all weekend about the kitties and dogs eating, and would've stayed outside all day if someone were patient enough to take her:




we really wish we got to see these people more often. as I said before... we like 'em.


*****


speaking of birthdays, M's mom's birthday was last week. we celebrated with a lovely, tasty dinner at Backstreet Cafe, out on the patio. happiest of birthdays to both our momz!


*****


because I'm sure you're dying to know, this is what 30 chapters of an accounting course looks like:




it takes... oh... 11.5 hrs to read. water is a friend.


*****


thinking about driving to Hico and looking at my pictures from the weekend made me want to hear this song by Midlake, called Head Home:




and I'm out.

award time!

write softly (www.writesoftly.blogspot.com) made my morning by honoring me with a Smile Award:




It's a blog award created by a blogger to share with other writers who meet certain criteria. As an award recipient, I'm obligated to post that criteria:

The characteristics that the recipient of this award must have are: must display a cheerful disposition, must love one another, must make mistakes, must learn from others, must be a positive contributor to the blog world, must love life, and must love kids.  I'm so thankful that this lovely lady considers me worthy of such sweet praise... I think she's the cat's meow, too, and would totally return the award if she didn't already have one.  (but in my head, WS, I gave you one anyway.  that's two Smile Awards to display on your mantle!)  her writings are thoughtful, and lush, and gracious, and fun, and honest, and the way she adores her family is just gorgeous.

Since I've accepted this award, there are rules I must follow as well: must link back to the creator, must post these rules, must choose five new people to receive this award who fit the characteristics above, must post the characteristics needed to qualify for the award, must create a post sharing your win with others, and must thank the giver.

And now I get to pass on the honor to five people of my own choosing!  My Smile Awards today will go to:

Lilacs on the Grill... for good, strong, honest writing and sharing of herself and the things/people she loves.  Having been a part of her life the past - what, 7 years?  is it more, B? - I think this lady is very brave.  She meets life head-on, and deals.  This is also the girl I trust to speak truth, even when it's hard to hear... and that's the kind of person I need close to me, to keep me honest.  She is always a Safe Place, and she encourages me to seek God.

Lovely Blue Skies... because she's not afraid to put her struggles and triumphs out there.  And because her sense of humor is fantastic.

One Day at a Time... My admiration for C just grows by leaps and bounds as I'm getting to know her.  I love how committed to her family and job she is, and how she and her husband seem to enjoy each other.  And she makes a killer diaper cake.  :P  Plus, I share her fondness for vintage linens and the like. 

The Pioneer Woman... I don't know the woman personally, but I got totally hooked reading the story of she and her husband's courtship as chronicled on the site, and it sustained me through some long recording sessions (don't even talk to me about how unprofessional it is to be surfing the iphone in the booth).  There are some great recipes there, too, and if you're interested in photography there's a wealth of info.  That's what I like the most, I guess... she has a lot of both entertaining and helpful stuff going on over there, and I feed on her fun attitude.

there are also a number of other blogs I stalk a little written by persons I don't actually know, and one of my favorites is Godgrown.  The stories he writes of he and his wife and their mission in Chicago, their experiences and thoughts and art and all of it... it's just affirming and encouraging to me.

So there you have it... Smile On, everybody!

xo

for the coffee lovers...

we just got one of these:




the french press is awesome. it's easy to use and the coffee is soooo tasty.

*****


every now and then, I take a stab at trying to keep up with daily meditational reading, even if it turns out to be a harried and cursory skimming. I like today's from Letting God:

During WW II, a young bride followed her husband to an army camp in the California desert. It wasn't long before she regretted her move. The dust and heat were terrible, and her new husband was too busy to spend much time with his bride. She grew lonely and bored. The only neighbors were native Americans who spoke little English. She wrote her mother that she was coming home. Her mother wrote back these words: Two men looked out from prison bars; one saw mud, the other saw stars. The message was clear. The young woman decided to make the most of her situation. She learned the Indian tribal language. She studied the desert plants until she became a national authority on desert flora. She wrote a book about the beauty and wonder of the desert. Her contribution came from her choice "to see stars instead of mud". We all have the same choice. Someone once said, "the world is a looking glass. Frown at it, and it will in turn look sourly upon you; laugh at it and with it, and it is a jolly, kind companion." This seems so simple, even trite - until we try it ourselves. It's hard to take the responsibility for our own decision to see the good in the midst of evil.

*****


we had good travels, and there is more to blog, but I have to go read words for money now.

I was gonna sleep in...

after an incredibly dense work week so far, I managed to finish one of my shows early and got this morning off. when I left the studio last night at, oh, midnightish, the only thing I could think about was how I was going to come to the hotel, crash, and sleep until I woke up. the thought was delicious. really, it was better than ice cream.

but then I was almost too tired to sleep. you know what I mean. I flipped channels until a little after 1... and then there were the 4 emails I got before 7am about the project we 'finished' late last night, with miscommunication and fires to put out and sound files to cut up and re-label (I won't do that... but I had to send an email to my engineer to do it, and I'm betting he's cussing a little...). it's all going to be fine... I have a good relationship with my client and she's happy - or will be, after she gets her corrected files - but here I am partaking of a reactive pop-tart-fest, drinking coffee, and watching Headline News instead of sleeping and letting my body/mind/voice rest and heal a little from this week. and that's really too bad. I have to run a few errands up here and go rock a little boy voice at 2p, and then I head home to Hico to see my family, celebrate my mom's and brother's birthday, and soak up as much of this little girl as possible...




I want to be ready and up for all of it.


*****


I recently subscribed to Upper Room Daily Reflections, and this is what came in my inbox this morning:

FAITHFULNESS is consecration in overalls. It is the steady acceptance and performance of the common duty and immediate task without any reference to personal preferences — because it is there to be done and so is a manifestation of the Will of God. …

Faithfulness means continuing quietly with the job we have been given, in the situation where we have been placed; not yielding to the restless desire for change. It means tending the lamp quietly for God without wondering how much longer it has got to go on. Steady, unsensational driving, taking good care of the car. A lot of the road to heaven has to be taken at thirty miles per hour.

- Evelyn Underhill
The Soul’s Delight

From pp. 36-37 of The Soul’s Delight: Selected Writings of Evelyn Underhill edited by Keith Beasley-Topliffe. Copyright © 1998 by Upper Room Books. All Rights Reserved. Used with permission. http://www.upperroom.org/bookstore/. Learn more about or purchase this book.


I've read it a few times.  I like it, it challenges me today.  the scripture reading is, Fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.
- Philippians 4:8, GNT


that's challenging, too.


*****


Omgosh, the news is all about the DOW going up and down. I don't know how anyone could be a day trader, where you have to watch this stuff every day like this, even when there isn't a crisis. last week's episode on This American Life - titled 'Another Frightening Show About the Economy' - is still posted on the site.  it's really fantastic and informative about a lot of things the average person is unaware of.  if you have the time, it's worth checking out.


*****

I have so much to be thankful for today. I'll tell ya, though, I think I'm going to save up my shekels and splurge on a massage soon.

zzzzz....

so tired. I'm in Dallas, in my room at the Days Inn, watching Intervention on A&E and feeling my eyelids lose the fight. am about to seriously pass out after a good, 11 hr recording day, but wanted to write this down:

when your husband gets up with you at 4a, makes you coffee and waffles with peanut butter and honey, helps load your car, and sends you off into the dark morning to work for the week... it makes a huge difference. it really does.

thank you, honey. you are the best one.

disappointing.

they passed it. sinking feeling in stomach.

look, I don't want our economy to tank further. I don't want people to lose their jobs, homes, or retirements. do I want the bailout to work? Um, I guess... it stands to help out SOME, if stars align and you squint at it hard enough, but the unknowns are huge here. that's it... we just don't know, but the American people will incur the tab regardless of the outcome. I feel this is an awful piece of legislation that, I am convinced, will not 'save' our economy or our global economic standing... just prolong the inevitable implosion of our dependance on questionable credit structures and give our government a new national identity and role, which is scary to me. hey, mr. paulson, didn't your last company go down the tubes?? not only is the bill bad fundamentally, but now there's an even bigger price tag for your tax dollars to cover, made up of ridiculous and expensive add-ons to buy our representative's support of this flawed 'plan'. and our two leading Presidential candidates both voted for it. and can talk about tax cuts with a straight face. there is small hope that those who can will attempt to whittle away at this barnacled Titanic in upcoming sessions...

I suppose my value system cries for our government to band together to be the 'Dad You Need'... at least, as I would define that. the Reformed Dad in a morality play might say.. 'yes, kids, I know I said you could go to Disneyland, and I've raised you to believe that it's the birthright of every family and person to go to Disneyland regardless of their circumstance, and I raised you thinking we were rich and could afford whatever we or you want, but your mom and I - both through the decisions we've made and the decisions we haven't - have run this family into the ground, and we don't have any money. not only to we not have any money, but we're so in the hole and indebted we may have to sell our house and our cars and your game systems and go live with relatives and wait tables on weekends and buy generic when we actually do buy something new. if we can't turn it around and dig out of the hole, we won't be able to buy you a car or send you to college, and you should know that Christmas won't look the same. we may even have to ask you to go to work to help out - which, as your Dad who was supposed to manage things better, shames me. I'm trying to learn my lesson... I'm taking classes and I'm in counseling to learn to do a better job with life, because I'm responsible as the leader of this family. I'm sorry if this hurts your sense of self, and I'm sorry for depriving you of these things we'd like you to have... but we think there's greater value and integrity in addressing the truth of our situation now, in hopes that you will learn to be much wiser than we are and not put your family at risk the way we have."

Non-Reformed Dad, in the morality play, would just go to Wachovia- sorry, Wells Fargo - and take out a HELOC to send the family not only to Disneyland, but Aspen for Christmas! and then, of course, in the end we see what was gained or lost as we look in on the children of both families in thirty years...

would I feel differently if I were losing my job? if $100,000 were wiped out of my retirement funds yesterday? I'm sure I'd feel more conflicted. and angry. let's face it, it sucks to be the child of the Reformed Dad whose finally facing the music and crashing your dream of how things are supposed to be.

I don't mean to be simplistic, or a jerk, or extreme, or unfeeling toward anyone in crisis. and I don't mean to imply there's some sort of other magical solution immediately apparent... though I do believe more tiered and foundational progress could be achieved if our appointed math nerds were free to think outside of survival and political pressure. Robert Johnson, the former chief economist of the Senate Banking Committee, was on Democracy Now! this morning, and confessed that as much as he hates the bill, he'd probably feel compelled to vote 'Y' for it because of the inescapable need to do something immediate, but that it made him nauseous. it's gross, all the way around.



p.s. I believe our Congress thinks the majority of Americans are both uninformed and powerless. I know how both of my state reps voted on this bill. I look forward to November.

a part of the system...

last night, I wrote my senator and congresswoman for the first time ever. trippy. today, I'm bent on making sure my voter registration is legal and valid since moving and getting married and stuff. I told my representatives that their actions this week with regard to the bailout bill will be directly tied to my vote for or against them, and I have to follow through...

I'm thinking this morning about John Adams. again, if you haven't seen it, it's a really good HBO mini-series that you can rent. one of the best things about it... it lit a fire in me about representative government. I've generally thought most politicians are forced to represent those who lobby and fund their campaigns, and those peers and co-horts who will further their careers and livelihoods... but now, I'm ready to ask to be represented.