sort of a blur

this feels like a 'dear diary' post. may happened so fast in my memory, but there a couple of things worth talking about:

I've been very, very blessed with work. I'm so thankful, particularly so since this morning husband and I did our budget together for June and were able to plan to contribute to retirement and savings this month, even Magz' college fund. thank you, Father, for abundance. it certainly helped that we got a tax refund a few days ago... which you don't really want, since it just means you gave the gov too much money last year, but we'll take it back with gratitude. hubs is working at building his freelance clientele, and even though the Lord has blessed us and taken care of us beautifully I'm afraid I'm hard-wired to worry and fret about funds. 'what if I lose a client, or three?', 'what if I get pregnant again right now, and it's harder than last time, and I can't work as much?', 'what if we dip too far into savings on down months, and get used to it, and forget what it's like to have goals and a plan?'... I know that there's probably a healthy level of concern to have about such things, which propels people to get out of bed and try to take care of business, but I also recognize that I can totally forget to include God's provision and peace in my habit of defaulting to my own ability to to perform and make things happen. after 13 years of self-employment I'm afraid I also still tend to forget that I'm in a boat with two oars, and that everything looks a lot better and less stressful when I'm sharing and shouldering with mgb. I'm so thankful for my husband, and for how he serves our family.

I'd like to brag on him a little - he showed up to a gig the other day to work as a Production Assistant on a reality show shoot (which is a position that he's 'above' ability-wise, but the tech crew was out of LA and those were the local positions they were hiring). as the gear was brought in it became apparent that no one really knew how to set it all up and poof! there was mgb. he got everything up and running and ordered so that everyone could clearly see what was what, and at the end of the day the director even asked if he wanted to continue on to the Miami shoot. that part didn't actually transpire, but the point is that my husband showed up and did what he does very well (which is make life easier and more enjoyable for people who want to make things with cameras), and I'm just proud of him.

I've also been making some lifestyle/health changes over the past 5 weeks, which have been both great and challenging. I used this upcoming movie part to galvanize me into these changes, but it's a little bigger than that now. I retained a trainer, who's helped me so much. Kathy has shown me what pushing myself really looks like, and I'm acutely aware of the fact that when I was 'working out' before I was barely scratching the surface of real training. I feel so much stronger than I did before, and I'm gratified by the progress I've made with strength training. I still have some recurring issues, like lower back pain, which I believe will get better with continued core training, and feel like cardio is where I'm the weakest overall, but still... two months ago, ten minutes on the cross trainer made me huff and puff and hurt, and two days ago I did an hour between the treadmill and cross-trainer. so woot woot!

I'm challenged both by the commitment to the activity of exercise/strength training and my desire for instant gratification - I haven't magically dropped ten pounds since starting with Kathy, and there's definitely still extra stomach poochage going on. I HAVE lost about 5 pounds (and gained muscle weight, for sure) and my shape is visibly changing, but it's been and continues to be a process and I feel like I'm really earning whatever is happening. so, I have to cheerlead a little and push to keep on keepin' on.

Kathy also turned me onto the clean eating diet, which I mentioned before. I've been fairly committed to it, and mgb and I both have had a positive experience with it. in a nutshell, clean eating shoots for the following (from the front of the April/May CE magazine):

eat five or six times a day - three meals and two to three small snacks, attempting to include a lean protein, plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, and a complex carb at each meal. the goal: to keep your body energized and burning calories efficiently all day.

drink at least 2 liters of water a day - which is one of the hardest things for me, personally. they also hope you choose to drink it out of something reusable and environmentally-friendly. I recently bought a Brita water bottle, and am hoping to do better.

get label savvy - clean foods contain just one or two ingredients. in short, try to avoid the things with ingredients you can't pronounce, or that look like they need a ton of artificial fortifying.

avoid processed and refined foods - such as white flour, sugar, bread, and pasta. enjoy complex carbs such as whole grains instead. the big deal here is that we just try to choose better bread and pasta choices - there are lots of sprouted/whole grain options, so I don't feel deprived of my bread/pasta loves.

know thy enemies - steer clear of anything high in saturated and trans fats, anything fried, or anything high in sugar.

shop with a conscience - consume humanely raised and local meats. we try when we can, but budget/etc doesn't always allow for this.

consume healthy fats every day. olives, avocados, olive oil, etc. would fall here.

learn about portion sizes and work toward eating within them.

reduce your carbon footprint - eat produce that's seasonal and local. we love to shoot for this, obviously.

limit alcohol - make it a rare indulgence. this one is SO easy for me. :P

slow down and savor. food tastes best when it's savored. enjoy every bite.

take it to go. pack a cooler so you always have clean eats on the go. I got the insulated bag below from Marshall's and am still trying to get into the habit of packing it in the morning when I've got a full day. BUT, when I do, it's really great and I love that I don't have to think about where to pick up food between sessions/appointments.

make it a family affair - food is a social glue that should be shared with everyone!

things I like about it:

no calorie counting. it's most definitely a lifestyle, not a short-term weight loss plan.

supports ideals we already are attracted to - eating locally, eating fresh

I do feel better and more level energy-wise.

no food categories are off-limits, and you can choose to cheat where you wish... though I find myself not being as attracted to sugar and questionable food as I was, so I don't really pine to cheat. plus, if I eat something processed now I can feel it, and it's not particularly pleasant. pizza is probably my favorite cheat food right now, but if we make it at home it's still not THAT bad...

challenges:

planning meals/snacks requires more attention than I'm used to giving to my own daily care. I plan for the baby's outings, but can easily leave the house without my water bottle/snack/meal and not give it a thought.

remembering to shoot for the lean protein/complex carb/fruits/veg mix is requiring me to learn what all of those things are.

actually remembering to eat every 2.5-3 hrs. for example, we blew it this morning on breakfast by, oh, not eating it at all. major no-no, since now our bodies have to go forth unfueled and our metabolisms haven't been prompted into action for the day.

so far, I'm into it. I feel like it incentivizes us to eat the way we want to, anyway, and isn't rigid to the point of being too hard to incorporate into our lives right now. as far as what it costs, the jury's out on how or if it's affected our food budget. last month we were a little nuts with what we actually spent, but I'm not at all sure eating clean contributed to that. I'll be able to better tell this month.

in other news, our baby is totally standing by herself and is *this close* to walking. help us.

they're waiting on me so we can, appropriately, go grocery shop. woo-hoo! I feel like it's been so long since I've written anything that gets into what I'm really up to. I'll try not to go so long again.

-m.y.