ripley shanequa christian-bell

this morning we chose to say goodbye to our sweet kitty. she'd been going downhill for a few weeks, and we were really hoping she'd die naturally at home before being terribly compromised. her breath's been short and labored, she became more and more weak and listless, and she's not been eating well... for the past few days she was unable to eat or drink unless I maneuvered water or wet food under her nose, and even then she wouldn't swallow enough to do much good. when she stopped moving at all, even to relieve herself, we knew it was time to face some sad decisions. I called M and he met me at the vet, and we cried and lived through that hard experience together. I'm so glad he was there, I can't even tell you. I'm so glad I married a man that I can fully share these times with, as they overwhelm and ebb and hit you in different waves... you don't really know what it's going to be like until something happens, but I'm acutely aware today today of the comfort, love, and safety of his presence. thank you, God, for giving me this man. he took off the rest of the day and we made it the best one it could be... Champ burgers, DVR'd Office, errands, some work, a movie. every now and then we'd say, 'I'll miss her. She was a sweet cat. I'll miss cuddling with her. Remember when she..." it was good day, living and mourning her. when we came home, there was this brilliant sunset... I ran inside and grabbed the camera, hoping to catch it before the light disappeared:


there are blessings in everything. I'm so glad I got to have this kitty for my family for so long. she's been with me fourteen plus years, and her passing feels like the end of something. she picked me in the beginning, both by walking into my house as a tiny kitten and preferring me above others... she saw me through a divorce, endured it when I introduced a dog named Chino into our lives, grad school, the move to Houston, my crazy years, my sober years, that wretched hurricane evacuation, the passing of her son, Owen Meany (she became a lot needier after Owen was gone), and my courtship/marriage to mr. bell (who was as much her knight in shining armor as he was mine, for real). while we were living at my aunt's house, Rippy was so skinny and beat up from having to fight with the other cats for food that M took pity on her and whisked her away to come live at 406 with him until I could join them after the wedding, and she showed her gratitude by attempting to sleep on his face every night and eating her weight in cat food, loudly letting us know if her bowl looked like it might be getting the slightest bit empty-looking. she had a really wonderful last two years, and I'm grateful to have married a man and extended family who care for animals the way they do. the bells have shown such love and generosity... words really can't express the extent of our gratitude, both for them and for my own sweet family. thank you, all of you.

and so, our hearts are a little broken. we're thankful for what we've been given, and I praise God for Ripley and what she brought to our lives, and His kindness to us today. I still wonder if there will be animals later, in the afterlife. I'm inclined to believe it could happen... I mean, God prioritized to fashion them once for His pleasure, and He deemed them Good. here are some pictures of her... if you want to see M's favorite, it's the one in my sidebar where she looks like she sprouted out of the flowerpot. I keep thinking about this song tonight, so I'm going to dedicate it to my fun, fluffy, mouse-catching, sweet-smelling girl.

in Baton Rouge

Ripley's son, Owen Meany. this was one hilarious cat.

'you want a piece of me, dog?'

this was taken just yesterday morning.

I love you, pippy.
-m.y.