summer's end

falling asleep x2

2 months old

 first time to go to the movies - Finding Nemo in 3-D

8-year chip

of course this happened.

growing out my hair a bit for fall.  my stylist is amazing.

'nostalgia'... sister post to 'duke'

so I was thinking that nostalgia plays no small part in the things we choose to do, our traditions and whatnot.  and why not?  it's normal to be emotionally connected to things, places, people, ideas.  I think wanting to maintain a status quo because of nostalgic connotations is totally fine, as long as we're self-aware about it and it's not impeding anything.  but still, we shouldn't let warm feelings prevent us from talking a clear look at things when we need to.  as we learn in therapy, feelings aren't facts.

in other news, I'm beginning the journey back to strength and optimum health (in layman's terms, I have about ten pounds to lose or transform).

I am so ready for fall.

-m.y.

do old and new have to duke it out?

I don't have adequate time to properly think/write this out, but it's been on my mind quite a bit lately.  Is it our responsibility to preserve the 'old'... old ways, old traditions, old themes, old mindsets and values, old structures, the good 'ole' days?  Do we have the freedom to reinvent these things as we go, and let go of 'what was' to grasp 'what is... as best as we can tell'?  In embracing the 'new', do we necessarily have to reject the old paths that got us here?

As we cautiously dream of enlarging our house sometime in the future, we think about the aspects we want to remain true to its 1950's heritage while incorporating more modern elements... you know, like preserving an open floor plan, adding a second bathroom (and a third bedroom), a repaired foundation, a  roof made of newer, more durable materials, a breakfast bar in the kitchen with extra storage underneath, clean-lined subway tile wherever I can get it, and a covered patio.

In this election year, I wonder if some American's are holding on to some ideals that made sense at one time, but are harder to live out in today's increasingly small and global world (I say small, because the world seemed a lot larger and scary - and America more insular/isolated - before I could real-time facebook with people in Australia as easily as brushing my teeth).  Or are we to steadfastly preserve the ideals of men who founded our country over 200 years ago, as best we can infer them?  When it comes to our national identity, what do we keep in a world that looks very different than it did even 100 years ago?  What values do we collectively strive to preserve, and what are personal preferences that betray more the lottery of where and when we happened to be born?  What do we 'update' when it comes to our core components, like old software that's inhibiting your machine from running as it's meant to?  And where does a God of all nations and peoples figure into a singular 'national' identity?

I ask these questions about the church as well.  I belong to a tradition that has found some of it's value in attributes that separate it from other churches.  This can be both positive and negative, of course... but what I think about these days is how I'm not really concerned with separating myself from other churches.  I'm not overly concerned with preserving how we do things, even though I believe there is/was? value in our 'forms'.  I believe we can love the old and embrace the new, all at the same time.  I wonder if some leaders are saddened by believers like me... I'd certainly understand it.  These days, I mostly believe the power of God palpable in the life of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit is the only selling point we need and whatever we do should spring from and direct people to THAT, whether we convey it through acapella singing or tambourines or quiet meditation or full-on praise jams.  My identity is not in my church... it's in Jesus and finding some - any? - way to connect to him, to find and confirm and live my hiccuppy faith.  Frankly, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to unite the churches on W Belfort - from Stella Link to South Post Oak - into one big living organism of believers, letting the Spirit/bible lead us to work together, learn/benefit from each others gifts, and combine our forces to do the most good.  I don't pretend that would be an easy undertaking, and I'm sure it would sound scary (and perhaps dangerous) to some.

I also don't pretend I'm right about any of this.  Just thinking about it.  I welcome any of your thoughts, too, in written or verbal form.

-m.y.

**edit:  I'm not suggesting that if one is open to the 'new' that they can't choose to live/experience the 'old'.  that's sort of my point... I don't think it's one or the other.

I have two daughters, blog!

 photos first.  I know why you're here.

playroom.  my daughters aren't exhibitionists... it was just hot outside and shirts seemed ridiculous:

we decided a swim was in order.

bathtime!  ruby's umbilical cord took a loooong time to fall off, so we were sponge-bathing for what seemed like forever...

before bed one night.  maggie thought everyone needed headbands.

maggie also thought she needed to wear a baby bib.  two, in fact.  this girl has coped pretty well with a new baby in the house, but there has been some regressive behavior... we think it's harmless, so we try to play along and reassure her of her place in the world:

I don't think I've posted how the room came out.  I've still got some things I'd like to do, but here's where we are today:

and here's my one month old with her own raggedy ann doll:

 

yes.  she's the spitting image of her sister.

random tidbits and trivia:

I'm not sleeping fantastically, but it's mostly been okay.  

we buy good coffee.

at night, ruby wakes up and wants to eat every 2.5-3 hrs, generally.  but she gobbles for only about 10 minutes and then falls right back to sleep, so that's nice of her.

ruby was a pound bigger than maggie when she was born, and it's wild to have a baby that's growing so fast.  maggie has always been small, and her clothes seemed to last forever!  I have to put ruby in things and take a quick picture....

she's in size 1 diapers already and she spits up more than maggie did.  she has pretty blue eyes and definitely more hair than her sister at this age. 

she's a good eater so far - I'm not sure if it's just her noshing prowess or my improved confidence this time around (likely both...), but breastfeeding has been easier.  she also takes a bottle well (so others can feed her when I'm not around)... I'm so thankful this has worked out for both of my babies, as it definitely makes things easier with me working.

work has mostly been just fine - the last two weeks I took one workday completely off each week and I've been limiting the length of my sessions, so I can get home within a timeframe I'm comfortable with.

I'm mostly narrating e-learning courses and reading audiobooks right now.

I forgot how much laundry one does with a newborn.  

I forgot about the aerodynamic poop up the back.

maggie is mostly really great with ruby, but we try not to force her to interact.  

magz is into:  seeds class at church, swimming, looking at photos of herself, playing, babies (dolls), her sandbox (I wish it wasn't so hot!), jumping/dancing, sesame street, yo gabba gabba, books, the ipad, showing visitors her big girl bed, storytelling (about the beach, a ride she went on with Michael at Schlitterbahn, Finding Nemo... "Nemo, Nemo, back!  Dada say... Nemo touch boat, no no!")...

her language skills are exploding and I love it.

we still generally cuddle on the couch most mornings, ruby's just thrown into the mix.

I'm bouncing back faster this time, which is a blessing.  it feels good to be physically active and pain-free after the limitations of the last couple of pregnant months.  

basically, we expected everything to be super hard with a 2 year old and a newborn, and that's not been our experience.  not that everything's been easy, but it's been more doable than I anticipated.  

I do feel guilty sometimes about magz... like, I worry she watches too much tv.  but then I think, 'I need to rest and Sesame Street (or Yo Gabba Gabba, or Olivia, or Classical Baby) gives me an hour (or 30 minutes) to close my eyes on the couch.  it doesn't define us, it just helps today.'  

and I just have to be okay with it.

oh, and while I say things haven't been as hard as I thought they'd be I still don't feel there's enough of me to go around.  I don't do all that I wish I could, and I can't seem to show up for people in ways I'd like.  There are limits to me and my capabilities, and I've decided to be okay with that, too, and just do my best from day to day.  I'm thankful for all of the help I've received, especially with maggie.

we took the girls to the Galleria one day to let magz play... I wore ruby in the moby, and by the time we'd been there two hours I felt like I'd been hit by a mac truck.  At one point, while Michael was in line at Starbucks, I was in Victoria's Secret looking to replace some undies, sweatily trying to make my selections, keep a somewhat strung out magz from making it rain panties all around us, and shift ruby around to relieve my increasingly angry lower back.  it was absolutely exhausting.  mama hasn't worked out in awhile, y'all.

speaking of being tired, it's so time for bed.  it was parent's night out at Willow Meadow's Baptist down the street, so while magz had dinner and played there husband and I and the baby went out for spicy Indian food.  I'm still full, plus I have a heavenly butter chicken curry in the 'fridge just waiting for me to dig into tomorrow.  yay!

night-night.

-m.y.