buzzing... around my head and in my heart

we spent last weekend in Hico, hanging out with family and playing at the annual Old Settler's Reunion carnival.

grandma reading to the girls. sniff.

we all descended upon the Care Center to pick up yaya.

at the carnival, where I spent the majority of my effort warding off bees. there were so many bees, people!! boo. I know bees are very important and that they're in danger of disappearing, which would mean bad things for everyone, but it's no fun fending them off all night at an outdoor carnival. ah well. maggie was unperturbed. mostly because of my fending skills.

see all those people along the gate? yeah, I'm related to all of them.

daddy took magz in the spinning strawberry!

mica, yaya, and her new wheels. the grandkids all chipped in and helped purchase this scooter. she was so surprised! mica leigh is awesome for finding it and letting us help.

I went down the super slide once. I'm telling you, I was too busy battling bees.

yaya and kaitlin

mugging.

in addition to all of her awesome books, let it be known that our daughter has a taste for deeper things. behold, amy carmichael's "if":

this arresting quote has been attributed to ms. carmichael:

"We profess to be strangers and pilgrims, seeking after a country of our own, yet we settle down in the most un-stranger-like fashion, exactly as if we were quite at home and meant to stay as long as we could. I don't wonder apostolic miracles have died. Apostolic living certainly has." — Amy Carmichael

and that paperback below would be "More Than a Carpenter" by Josh McDowell. mmm-hmm.

she's also been known to frequently pull out "Sinners In the Hands of an Angry God". because, you know, there's nothing like a little 18th century Jonathan Edwards before kicking back with Elmo's World.

this is how it feels a little now. lovely and fast.

she had a hard time going to sleep last night, so I caved and went in to help. she'd gotten herself pretty worked up so I held her against my shoulder, did a bouncy, swoopy dance, and let her catch her breath. we plopped down on the couch in her room and I started singing some of the familiar songs, patting and drumming, and kissing any dear, soft skin that came near me. in the beginning, it was the cabin in the woods song, then she asked for itsy bitsy spider, and finally I moved into 'I love you with the love of the Lord', over and over. she looked up at me with such open trust, such sweetness and beauty in her big toothy smile, such assurance in the half-whispered 'mamas' she said as she patted my face and chest. that I'm her mama, her property of sorts, is something she knows, and the deep intimacy and fierce rush of love completely overwhelmed me. I cried and sniffed and tried to keep singing even as that baby mimicked my sniffles and giggled at her cleverness, and I just thanked God over and over.

I love you with the love of the Lord, I love you with the love of the Lord. I see in you the glory of my King, and I love you with the love of the Lord.

-m.y.

love songs

on our way home Sunday, we caught a re-run episode of This American Life that explored the topic of 'break-ups'. I'd heard it before and I love this episode, mostly for the first segment in which Starlee Kine describes a horrible, painful breakup between she and her boyfriend, how this event culminated in a burning desire to write a torch song about it, and how this decision ultimately led her to seek the advice of Phil Collins himself (whose music had become a part of the fabric of she and her ex's courtship/relationship in that way music does). I love that Phil Collins actually talked to her and was gracious, I love the snippets of various love/break-up songs played... it's just a great segment.

**insert phil collins tangent** I may mis-remember parts of this story, so B2 - feel free to correct me. when M and I first started dating, the subject of mix tapes came up. do you make a mix tape of songs selected because the mix tape-maker loves them, or should the song list reflect songs you think the receiver will like? I talked with B2 about this dilemma as well, and I sort of forget how it all came about but we ended up discussing Phil Collins and Genesis (she likes both entities), which I later mentioned to M. when B2 and M met - which was a big deal, as dudes I dated rarely met the important people in my life. wrong and telling, I know. - B2 and I were hanging out at Agora on Westheimer. I'd asked her to help me know what normal, healthy dating looked like, because I really and truly didn't know. in walked mgb wearing a t-shirt that said 'I'm really into Phil Collins' on the front and 'and Genesis' on the back. he'd made it, and I'm pretty sure it endeared him to B2 instantly. when we parted company later, after getting Korean food, I think, she looked at me and said 'that's what it looks like'. that was a great day all around.

so love songs. amidst the awesome angsty slow ones, here's a peppy one I always love:



a new one that's great:



fun and endearing:



and if I were making a break-up mix, this would be in prime first position:




love!

-m.y.

me-hee-koe.

so I shot for a couple of days on a movie called 'the girl' last month. it was shooting in mexico, so I got to go to oaxaca city for 5 days (I was missing mgb and magz for real, and wished I spoke more spanish). I learned a lot on this trip, and mostly hope that my performance comes out okay when all is said and done. all photos below were taken with ye old iphone, as I'd neglected to bring my real camera.

view from my balcony

ditto

I tried to capture the claustrophobic nature of the famed markets near the main plaza... I really loved them, though the meat areas were a little nauseating to me:

another strip of markets on the main plaza:

major cathedral, captured on my way to dinner @ a place recommended by the P family. I can't for the life of me remember the name of this place right now.

delicious dinner of local mushroom pasta...

breakfast at zocalo, or the main plaza. I loved people-watching here almost every day.

shooting.

with lead A.Cornish, who knows how to look great. I just know how to look rather pudgy.

with 'the girl'. I can't remember her name, but she was a total doll and liked looking at maggie's pictures on my phone. she also likes angry birds.

with the director and producer. this photo reminds me to be sad that this pair of jeans is currently m.i.a., as is my arcade fire t-shirt.

I did it, I shot a good scene in that movie. at least, I hope it's good. and now I'm going to bed.

m.y.

coping by organizing my phone

there have been a few stories in the news lately that simply slay me if I think about them for very long, awful events that leave behind children without parents, a man without his wife and 4 kids. it's so fragile, this life we live - my chest hurts and I'm shamed to think about how I gamble it by texting in the car or trying to read something while driving.

I'm also chastised when I consider how quick to frustration and short of patience I've been the past few weeks. it's not very pretty, and it's not who I really want to be.

so, to cope with feeling... um... feelings... I clean or try to organize things to, you know, attempt to regain control. my iphone was an easy mark, as I've not updated podcasts/calendars/photos in forever. I've added a new podcast this go-'round - at the suggestion of Ms. R.A. I subscribed to Ecclesia Church's podcast, just to see what that church has got going on. I've not been over there in years, but I used to frequent the coffee shop and I appreciated a lot of their ideals.

before I forget, I really enjoyed my friend K's newest blog post - I was an avid reader up through high school, but especially in elementary and jr. high. I read anything I could get my hands on, and I loved carefully filling out the Weekly Reader order forms and choosing treasures at book fairs. the thoughts K expressed about some of the purposes and goals of children's literature strike me as true and line up with my experience as a young reader. I read all sorts of different kinds of things, and I believe that by doing so I was able learn to distinguish that it wasn't all the same - various ideals carried different 'weight' based on my worldview and I was able to work that out by being exposed to large themes and different genres, whether it was Golden Books or Sweet Pickles or Nancy Drew or Judy Blume or a wonderful book about Joseph and his coat of many colors that I read at YaYa's until it fell apart.

I don't remember politics ever being connected to what I read or thought, or even being much on my radar (except for 'voting' for Jimmy Carter in the second grade). I would say I was raised to be a faithful Christian, but that my parents still allowed us to experience the world in a way that allowed us to think and wrestle with it, and I'm really grateful for that. in an increasingly-standardized and fearful/distrustful society, I want to help our girl learn how to navigate the world thoughtfully and compassionately, and I think the stories she hears are a good place to start.

this is a bit of a tangent, but in a recent late-night conversation with my brother, I said that I believe kids today are likely to have a super-different view of the world than even my generation, as the internet and such makes the global community so accessible... it's becoming easier and easier to view most people of different countries as being fellow humans, same as us, that we can banter with on discussion boards and do business with instead of viewing them as national allies or enemies. I don't know what that will mean, I just believe it to probably be true.

here are an assortment of photos rescued from the iphone. ones from mexico, grandad's funeral, etc. will come another time. oh, while you peruse these photos imagine this darling face screaming and unconsolable at 12:30 last night, arms flailing and little body twisting in frustration. she's better today, sweet and still a little clingy. every so often, she finds her favorite blanket and presses it to her face, biting the yarn hard and trying to take the edge off. teething is a hardcore, serious business.

helping with laundry

first story-time!

exhausted from playing with the calculator

I came home one day to find a picnic in progress

watching the end of Elmo's World with momo

my hair, before.

and after. :)

I'm still getting used to it... I keep thinking I just have my hair pulled up in back. It's never been this short before, but I really like it.

happy Saturday!

L